A SMAC in the Face #23:  Going Nowhere Slowly

In September 1939, Nazi Germany taught the world a new word – Blitzkreig (Lightning War) – when they conquered Poland in a matter of weeks after using extensive false flag operations and spurious justifications.  As an aside, seventeen days after the start of the invasion, the ‘morally superior’ socialist Soviet Union also invaded Poland in accordance with the Molotov – Ribbentrop Pact and they divvied up the country between them.  This supping with the devil was doomed to end badly.  In May 1940, Germany drove home the meaning of Blitzkrieg when they swept through Western Europe and Dunkirked the undercooked British Expeditionary Force.  To make sure that the world knew what Blitzkrieg meant, they unleashed Operation Barbarossa just over 13 months later on their erstwhile allies, the Russians.  They were only stopped at the gates of Moscow six months later.

Fast forward to the illegal American invasion of Iraq in 2003 during which they subdued a highly militarised country, 70% the area of Ukraine with a similar population, in 43 days half a world away.  With America razzamatazz marketing, they eschewed the word Blitzkrieg and instead referred to it as Shock and Awe.  Semantics.  It still just meant that a lot of people got needlessly killed rather quickly to satisfy the bloodlust of a few.  America also used lies to justify their invasion.  This was led by Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney with the dupes being George ‘Keep Away From Sharp Knives’ Bush and Tony Blair.  The lies were the supposed hidden weapons of mass destruction of the species Nuclei and Bacteria.

29 years later and another deluded putz, Putin, decided that his borders were looking untidy what with Ukraine making overtures to NATO.  This was a cold war foe, the hatred of whom was buried deep in the dark axions of an ex-KGB officer’s foetid mind.  Who would rid him of this turbulent ex-comedian, now president, he asked?  “Me!”  he answered himself after Trump failed to strongarm Zelensky over Biden’s son.  Having carefully prepared the ground like megalomaniacs before him, using false flag operations and the downright lie of the rebirth of Nazism in the Ukraine, he unleashed his version of a Biltzkrieg on the 24th of February.  His overwhelmingly superior forces stormed across the border from three sides and triumphantly went … nowhere.   They were soon bogged down and became the docile prey of Ukrainian drones circling above.  Nearly a month on and Russia has not yet captured a major city while suffering innumerable losses which they will not admit to on the pain of serious prison terms.   

Their lack of progress brought to mind that great SABC TV program, Going Nowhere Slowly, which aired from 2005 and featured a red 1966 Chev Impala called Chilli Pepper slowly touring South Africa and ending in many sticky situations like running out of gas. 

Perhaps Putz Putin would have done well to have watched this program before he decided to invade the largest country in Europe with his Schlock and Bore.

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