The ANC was founded on 8 January 1912 which, if you are of the minority who have arithmetic skills, know that it makes the ANC 112 years old. I don’t know why I bothered as you are likely to have reading skills as well otherwise you would not be reading this. Actually, I introduced this contentious note because during the week long birthday celebrations we will be told how the ANC has created a better life for all and free access to education will be one of them, not that they moved the meter much in the 30 years they’ve been in power.
With the ANC facing its most strenuous electoral challenge this year, we will have the galling sight of the posturing politicians outdoing themselves in regaling us with their achievements. It’s more likely to be a networking opportunity (in the corruption sense) and a chance for the ANC parasites to sell all manner of ANC themed regalia, probably including black, yellow and green rough riders.
It’s that time of the year again – a week long masturbatory orgy of self-congratulation to celebrate the ANC’s fumbling, oops, I mean founding. There will be much toyi-toying, ululating and twerking of buttocks that should carry a public safety warning. There will be a tri-tone riot of colour enough to blind a colourblind Rorschach, a creature as mythical as the achievements of the ANC. In between the intoning of “Viva (insert appropriate word here), viva!” the attendees will have their attention spans and bladders sorely tested by the pantomime of politicians extolling the good works and glory of the ANC. The only good news for them is that Carl Nie(Luthuli)haus will not be there to do the old white man’s toyi-toyi. They will also not be required to buff up Zuma’s pate nor worry about the Ace who is in a deep hole at the moment.
Perhaps I should first put my credentials on the line. Prior to 1994, I did not like the ANC – just about as much as I did not like the Nationalist Party or cockroaches – but I had hoped that Europeans would be able to find their way out of the blind alley of Apartheid.
However, in the 70s and 80s it became increasingly obvious that that this was not possible, and, although I did not approve of the violent methods, I was happy that eventually a relatively benign solution was found and I bought into the Rainbow Nation concept and the TRC in the Madiba years. Mbeki, with chips on both shoulders, began the downward slide by not only wishing to establish Black hegemony, but, specifically, ANC hegemony over all levers of power in SA. Zuma then came along and over a period of seven tsunami years weaponised Mbeki’s ideas for financial gain, self aggrandisement, to keep himself out of jail and to pull young chicks. The ANC became Zuma’s bitch much like the Republications have fallen under the thrall of the odious Trump.
The supine Cyril came along as an anecdote (not a typo) to the uncrowned Zulu king and proceeded to boil frogs slowly – so slowly that the frogs are asking him to turn the heat up because they’re getting cold. The fact is that he is powerless. The ANC as an organisation, the cadres and fellow travellers have morphed into a corrupt gang of incompetents who hang onto their positions like grim death because outside of the fold they are unemployable.
During a celebratory speech, Cyril stated that, irrespective of the ANC’s current problems, it ‘cannot be airbrushed away’. No truer words spoken. It has become a vampire sucking the lifeblood out of the country. It is so arrogant that it does not need the cover of darkness for its nefarious activities but operates with impunity and immunity in the bright sunlight. It has spawned such a corrupt network that, like a vampire, it can only be destroyed by the most vigorous means.
PS. I can’t take credit for the cute baby. That is George jr – Giles’ handiwork.