A SMAC in the Face #71:  What a Bunch of Puckers

Like a badly scripted scene from a low rent remake of the Godfather, all the consiglieri and foot soldiers of the Don’s grime family this week grovelled and debased themselves.  They attended his hush money trial on Tuesday and Thursday to pay allegiance to him and to pucker up and kiss his ring …  and not the ring on his finger either.

Main picture: The head of the Trumpolino grime family, the Don snr, giving his inverse raccoon glare before proceedings.

Some of these are hoping to bask in his reflected glory.  Others are hoping for the vacant seat next to him in his 2024 presidential golf cart later this year in the Presidential Veepstakes.  They’re all just useful idiots to him – particularly the latter.  While that seat remains vacant, they sing from the Him sheets which the Godfather scripts for them with his sharpie when he’s not nodding off in court or scowling at witnesses.

On Tuesday, a group of Republicans, dressed as Don mini-mes, in royal blue suits and red ties, pitched up.  Ag shame, Trump wore a yellow tie that day.  Headlining these acolytes was Mike Johnson, Speaker of the House.  This is a man whose worldview begins and ends with the Bible.  He is a Bible literalist and a young earth creationist.  At least he wore a red tie with stripes to show that he’s not totally the Don’s lackey.  He is so squeaky clean that he and his son have software installed that notifies each other when they view porn.  Sounds kind of creepy to me.  I can just imagine how a conversation with his son might go:

“Forgive me father for I have sinned. I was searching for the Born in the USA video and accidently accessed Porn in the USA.  I admit that my eyes did stray at the images presented.”

“That’s ok son.  Me too.  I was researching Stormy’s bio when a nude picture of her did pop up on my screen.  It did shake me so that it did take me a while to shut it down and my eyes did linger a bit on her sinful body.  To banish that image, I immediately did bring up a picture of Majorie Taylor-Greene ranting about impeaching me.”

Johnson did not attend court during the (porn) star witness’s testimony probably as he thought that the sight of her would add flesh to his lurid dreams of late. Her nude picture was bad enough.  In his mind, Trump was partially rehabilitated when it was revealed that, that although he succumbed to Stormy’s sinfulness, at least he did it in the missionary position.  He had no such qualms when the Don’s bagman and all-round sleaze bag, Cohen, was on the stand.  Having been exposed to Trump for a while, Johnson feels he is now immune to sleaze.  Besides, immunity is one of the Don’s specialities which he spreads around like his spurious insults and lies on Truth Social and even confers it on himself.

Thursday saw another gaggle of camp followers (probably the wrong description for MAGA Republicans) in an act of debasement coming to pay homage to the Don.  Opining to the press afterwards, they were like ventriloquist’s dummies.  They amplified all the Don’s talking points – Cohen is a proven liar; Judge Mechan is conflicted as his daughter is making millions promoting for the Democrats; it’s a witch hunt; the Department of Justice has been weaponised and so on.

Among the lesser lowlights was Lauren Boebert who is desperately trying to rescue her career.  She was ignominiously ejected from a stage production of Beetlejuice for vaping and groping her partner in the theatre.  She appeals to the far right as she is tough on immigration, tough on crime, in fact, tough on everything.  Hmm, I bet she hopes that the courts will be lenient on her son who faces multiple felony charges, but she hasn’t attended his court appearances so far!  I bet she wishes she could be shot of him much like Kristi Noem got rid of her beloved puppy, Cricket, who wouldn’t listen.

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