Heaven forbid that I would have to lose a child especially one who is still very young. How would I cope with it? Hopefully I will not react like this mother on 702 Talk Radio.

This topic is one that most of us do not even dwell on for a second as if the maxim “out of sight out of mind” would automatically apply. Perhaps one is forced to contemplate this eventually if one reads about this occurring. Aside from the fact that it is the death of a child, one cannot possibly imagine what those other parents are enduring. By imagine I mean to be in their shoes and not some bystander or some passer-by.

This issue was brought to the forefront on Wednesday [27^th August 2014] when a distraught mother phoned 702 Talk Radio. In essence it was heart wrenching complaint about the treatment by the personnel of Netcare 911. The nub of the compliant related to the fact that they refused to take her daughter to hospital when their resuscitation attempts proved to be futile.

Her sense of anguish was palpable. Between heart-wrenching sobs she bewailed the actions calling them heartless and other vituperative phrases. While this altercation took place, the other paramedics continued their resuscitation attempts.

The impression that one was left with was of heartless emergency personnel who couldn’t care less for the life of the child.

On Thursday night, using the radio station’s right of reply policy, the Operations Director then explained the incident from Netcare 911’s perspective. Their Response Team had been summoned to a petrol station where a young child was not breathing for whatever reason. When their personnel arrived, they diagnosed her as being deceased. In spite of this situation, they nevertheless attempted to resuscitate the girl but to no avail. As is their policy and generally accepted practice, the person may not be taken to a hospital but it must be handled by the mortuary services.

Because the woman was so adamant, the child was taken to the Morningside Clinic where she was declared dead on arrival.

The two sides of the story are poles apart. The nub of the dispute is not as the woman claims is the heartless uncaring attitude of the Netcare 911 personnel but rather her understandable unwillingness to accept the unpalatable truth that her child was deceased or as John Cleese might unsympathetically have put it in his famous skit about a dead parrot, an ex-child.

While most listeners undoubtedly sympathised with the Caller for the death of her child, which I did too, I could imagine the effect of her over reaction on the paramedics. Nobody is so immune that they would not also be appalled by the death of a young child or any human being for that matter. To exacerbate their woes, they have to deal with an out-of-control mother expecting miracles. Instead of accepting the inevitable, she vented her spleen on the unfortunate paramedics.

I once had the misfortune to witness just such an event close-up. On driving home from Robor in Elandsfontein, the N3 South was at a standstill. After being stationary for 10 minutes, I decided to walk across to the scene of the accident some 500 metres ahead.

There I witness from no more than two metres away, paramedics desperately attempting to resuscitate a young woman but she kept on “dying.” After every electric shock she would be revived for a few minutes and then she would cease to breathe.

The concern of the paramedics again was palpable. They were exercised every ounce of their skill to keep this patient alive. I watched this drama unfold for 45 minutes but the medics would not bow to the inevitable. Their mission was to save this stranger’s life.

The concentration on their faces epitomised their concerns. They would not let her just slip away. Between the 3 of them, they rotated their resuscitated attempts. The only words spoken were that they had to get her stabilised long enough so that she could be taken to a hospital. In no manner was an unprofessional opinion or behaviour revealed.

After 45 minutes I was devastated, drained from viewing this life and death struggle in front of my own eyes.

That night I slept the sleep of the damned. Visions of these medics struggling to save this woman’s life flashed across my sub-consciousness the whole night. I awoke the following morning drained, disconsolate and a tad melancholy. Perhaps those paramedics were hardened by their exposure to similar scenes but I would surmise that somewhere deep inside, they were equally troubled.

While I sympathise with that young woman’s loss of a child, her over-reaction did nothing to assist the situation or bring her daughter back to life.

Grief is a deeply felt primal human emotion but others should not be subjected to one’s use of it as a weapon especially where they have no means of ameliorating the situation.

In this instance, this grieving mother was undoubtedly wrong.