What will Shopping of the Future be Like?

By Dean McCleland in Other Miscellaneous Topics, Other Opinion Pieces 0 Comment

There are two types of shopping. To differentiate them I will classify them as consumables such as groceries, cleaning materials and toiletries and personal and luxury items such as clothing and appliances. To date internet shopping has not superseded personally shopping for one major reason; the cost of the delivery. Secondly should internet shopping become the norm what will the role of physical shops become?

I have been a keen follower of the internet shopping from its exuberant birth in the 1990s. The prognosis was that within 10 years, the demise of physical stores would become a reality. Reality TV shows showcased celebrities attempting to survive without ever entering a shop. Doomsday predictions abounded. Even within the steel industry where I was working at the time, the death of the steel merchant was predicted.
Main picture: A worker is seen in the Amazon.co.uk warehouse in Milton Keynes, north of London

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Amazing discovery

By Dean McCleland in Jokes 0 Comment

Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST element yet known to science!

AND yes . . . . .  it was discovered in South Africa

The new element is Governmentium (Gv).  It has one neutron, 25 assistant   neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert.  However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years.  It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.  This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.  All of the money is consumed in the exchange, and no other by-products are produced.