Perhaps this piece should have been titled, And Now for Something Completely Different, à la the 1971 Monty Python film.  Then again, perhaps not as it is not a send-up, but after a year of SMACs where Trump has been the target of SMAC’s disgruntlement, it was definitely time for something completely different.  So, instead of the normal vitriol, this is a tribute piece to an icon, or is it an iconoclast as she was a rebel and a breaker of moral codes.  We are talking about the passing of Bridgitte Bardot, aged 91.

To appreciate the effect she had on the world, one must remember that she was coming of age in the early 1950s.  Europe had been shattered by two World Wars within a generation and was ripe for social revolutions.  One of those was the sexual revolution which was to really gain traction in the 60s.  French films and Bardot were in the vanguard.  Although acting since 1952, the film that made her an international sensation was And God Created Women in 1956.  It earned her the nickname ‘sex kitten’.

She did not have the high cheek-boned beauty of a Sophia Loren or the voluptuousness of the later sex goddess, Rachel Welch or Marilyn Munroe’s overt sexuality.  Yes, she was a bottle blonde, but her tousled bouffant and wide-eyed innocent look hinted at a playful and cheeky naughtiness, ideal attributes for a mistress.  Her naturally luxurious lips also added to her desirability.  Because she was not part of American culture which largely dominated the world, we are unaware of her extensive oeuvre that consisted of 47 films, several musicals and 60 songs before her early retirement in 1973.

Although the world was enamoured with her, it was her home country that she particularly affected.  In 1967 she was invited to meet the French president, Charles de Gaulle at the Elysée Palace, where women were banned from wearing trousers as evening wear.  In an audacious breach of protocol, Bardot turned up dressed as a Napoleonic hussar (no, not hussy) with her blonde locks tumbling over her epaulettes. De Gaulle, then in his late seventies, was transfixed, solemnly declaring her to be a ‘French export as important as Renault cars’.  (I would not have described her as such as I personally knew those cars to be unconventionally engineered – typically French.  Then again, maybe it was apt.)  In 1969, Bardot became the first real-life model for Marianne, the fictitious emblem of the French Republic, personifying liberty, equality, fraternity and reason – a bust of whom is displayed in every town hall.

Personally, she was always her own woman and her life mirrored her cinematic personality.  She was married four times and had 17 romantic relationships; she explained, “I have always looked for passion. That’s why I was often unfaithful. And when the passion was coming to an end, I was packing my suitcase.”

She became an animal rights activist from the 70s, but unfortunately, Bardot didn’t age well like a fine Bordeaux, that other classic French product.  In the latter part of her life, she became Islamophobic and a supporter of Le Pen’s far-right political party.

Nevertheless, the current French president, Emmanuel Macron, led the tributes; “Her films, her voice, her dazzling fame, her initials, her sorrows, her generous passion for animals, her face that became Marianne – Brigitte Bardot embodied a life of freedom.  …  A French existence, a universal radiance. She moved us. We mourn a legend of the century.”

For many people in the world, 2025 was confusing, just like a solar eclipse is to the animal kingdom – the world was turned upside down, day became night and east became west.  Political alliances were suddenly uncertain and global trade agreements were unilaterally (quite literally) upended. 

It was all due to one man, Donald J Trump, who was somehow allowed out to cosplay again as leader of the most powerful country in the world.  Apart from a rotting brain full of petty grievances, retribution and a simplistic world view he has pursued bewildering policies with the compliant help from Conservatives who control all levers of power.  All his bizarre actions ultimately have one goal – to see his name writ large. 

And he has succeeded so far. He is definitely the most talked about person in the world.  However, his orange tan addled brain does not realise that he will not be celebrated in fame, but infamy.

Most of the changes that he sought will be largely undone.  The creative destruction that his MAGAlites wanted might yield some lasting changes like woke policies becoming a bit more rational and an end to unfettered migration.  But the scars in terms of world trade, geopolitical relationships and alliances will fundamentally change.  The US has shown that its peculiar form of horse-trading democracy cannot be trusted and its guardrails are insufficient to prevent quasi-dictatorships or worse from developing in America.  Western democracies will not lightly accept American leadership in future world affairs again. Trump’s main legacy is to irrevocably hasten the end of American hegemony and Pax America and future domination by China will be brought forward by a decade or more.

History will also denote 2025 as the year that AI stopped lurking in the shadows, so together with ongoing climate change, the world will face many challenges.  However, these along with most of Trump’s outcomes will little affect the world in 2026 beyond that which have already occurred.  Hence, 2026 will be a year of upsetting and threatening actions but largely empty rhetoric and bluster while China continues to eat America’s lunch.

Trump relies on Fox News for all his security and foreign policy briefings and, since they are an integral part of his echosphere, he’s actually listening to his narcissistic self.  It’s a symbiotic relationship – Trump wouldn’t survive without Fox News and vice versa.  They are embedded deeper up Trump’s bum than a proctologist is prepared to venture.  Their morning conservative news and talk program, Fox and Friends, serves up such a daily diet of sludge that it should be renamed Fox and Enemas.

In their latest sycophantic move, their streaming service, Fox Nation, has granted Melania Trump the laughable award of Patriot of the Year – 2025, this for a woman who, in Trump’s first term, wore a green jacket emblazoned with “I REALLY DON’T CARE, DO U?”  during a visit to child detention camps.  This was not a jacket by some avant-garde  designer, but a $39 common or garden jacket on which she had daubed the letters using what looked like the white liquid that we applied with a sponge to our canvas Slazenger tennis shoes in the days before Nike.

(It was also written in all-caps, something which Donald has picked up on with his ‘Truth’ Social posts.)

She was MIA for most of Trump’s first term and just about completely absent during his campaign for re-election. In his second term so far, she attended his inauguration, the Pope’s funeral and a state visit to Britain and that’s about it. She has not made any stirring patriotic speeches, rallying Americans. On the contrary, every time she appears in public it’s under duress and she looks like she’s passing a large kidney stone or thinking about Donald trying to get his leg over the previous night.

On learning about this cringeworthy sycophantic award, SUMAC could not resist mocking the picture they posted by replacing an uncharacteristically smiling Melania with her image from Donald’s inauguration. Her choice of look for the occasion was unfathomable. She looked like she was auditioning for a female Darth Varder, the Grim Reaper or the Plague Doctor. Whatever! Her message to the American People (and Donald) is clear – don’t f%$k with me – a non-verbal version of her previous “I really don’t care” statement.

The madcap red cap maggots think Trump’s policies are to DEI for on the back of Trump advocating for no queens (and hating Queens along with the rest of New York).  Meanwhile America is shouting back, “No Kings”.  Republicans answer that the No Kings movement consists of people who hate America and are actually members of that most dangerous of all terrorist organisations – Antifa. 

For people who don’t follow US politics, antifa merely means anti-fascist to describe people who reject fascism – an honourable standard to uphold.  It is not an organization in any shape or form, but is used as a slur much like branding a person a communist during the McCarthy era.  Why it is so gleefully used by Republicans against people who refuse to go along with their diktats is that, I believe, it conjures up the word Intifada in people’s minds.  This resonates with MAGA because Intifada is an Arabic word for a rebellion or uprising and was specifically used to describe Palestinian resistance to Israel in the First Intifada (1987–1993) and the Second Intifada (2000–2005).

The rash of popular ‘No Kings’ protests against the indiscriminate use of presumptive Presidential executive orders, that have little or no legal basis, harkens back 250 years to the American war of Independence against a distant monarchy that existed in a gilded bubble.  (Alright, Britain was a sort of democracy but there was no universal franchise and the King held enormous sway.)  Trump’s unique approach to the Presidency along with a compliant Supreme court threatens to hollow out all the underpinnings of America’s democracy and turn it into a horrible tribute show for the Orange Jesus.

Contrary to Trump’s vain boasts which, as usual, are light on facts, he is proving to be an unpopular President.  He and all his toadies and the ‘Voice of America’, Fox News, repeatedly state that his resounding victory gave him a mandate.  Really?  A mandate to do what – to upend the whole well balanced American democracy with a machine gun blast of vile executive orders like a demented rapper high on his tanning spray? 

It is true that the Republicans also won both houses and control the Supreme court 6 – 3, but let’s look at his personal mandate.  Yes, he did beat Harris by 2.28m votes but this was after she replaced the doddery Biden on the slate with only 107 days to go.  It should be noted that he did not actually receive more than 50% of all the votes cast.  Also, “Slo Joe, I call him Slo Joe, you know” had actually beaten Trump by 7m votes previously.  So much for his popularity.

As the 47^th President, he is the most unpopular President ever at this stage of his incumbency with a 37% approval rating.  To achieve this high honour, he had to beat that other most unpoular President, Donald J Trump Jr, in his previous incarnation as the 45^th President which he has done handsomely.

Back to the No Kings rallies.  While the tacky King Midas with his golden décor touch skulked and sulked in his personal shrine at Mar-a-Lago complete with fake Times magazine covers about himself, 7 million Americans turned out in all 50 states in 2700 protests to express their displeasure.  With crowds seething with cartoon figures, narco blow up frog costumes, out of control horny unicorns, protesting grannies and sarcastic posters, not one shot was fired, no tear gas or smoke had to be deployed and everyone was happy without having to get high first.  It was remarkably unifying. 

As the US motto fittingly states, “E pluribus unum” (out of many, one).

Trump and his shenanigans dominate the news cycles to such an extent that it’s difficult not to get sucked into their gravitational pull and write yet another piece concerning the free world’s most unlikeable man. With this in mind, scratching through basically finished but old spiked pieces on my computer yielded this tawdry but amusing sidebar to the tawdry Trump world.

Take a look at my girlfriend, she’s the only one I got.
Not much of a girlfriend, I never seem to get a lot. … Breakfast in America by Supertramp.

That long running banal saga, KUWTK 1 , like all good American shows, spun off a lot of lucrative franchises and ventures. Having got rid of her darker half, the unstable (Khan)Ye (god help us), Kim is carving out a new career with her SKIMS range of elastic body stockings which she self-promotes. Her numerous narcissistic selfies in her SKIMS show a perfect hourglass figure without all the bumps and baggy bits that go with it courtesy of the elastic sausage casing.

Not wanting to be caught wanting, Kourtney, a lesser Kardashian light, must have felt even more out of the limelight now that KUWTK has run its course. To boost her profile and her ego, she gushed on TV how sex fasting made it sooo much better. Given that she’s been with her spiky boyfriend, Travis Barker for just over a year 2 , they should still be all over each other like rabbits – looking at ways to tone it down rather than to spice it up. But then, looking at the way Travis has accessorised his skin, he must have plenty of inadequacy issues particularly when his scrawny white body comes up against the tawny voluptuousness of a Kardashian. Keeping it up with a Kardashian must then be an issue …. or not an issue as the case may be. Perhaps he needs the downtime to build up pressure to improve his uptime.

Why is it that famous people want to share their intimate details with whole world like some open-air therapy class? This pathetic narcissistic behaviour is not limited to the A-list celebs. We even have Melinda Gates, probably the richest woman in dowdy shoes apart from the late Queen, wanting to share her innermost feelings with the world who inhabit an existence diametrically opposite to the one she has inhabited for 27 years. It is like some crazy version of an AA meeting. “Hi, I’m Melinda Gates and my partner jilted me. I’ve been single for 6 months and 4 days. Perhaps I can give you some Windows into my situation. I was just DOSsing one day when Bill decided to stick his software – that’s what he’s got, ha ha – into a sleek new machine with great specs to download himself. He never updated me on his status until he caught a virus. He didn’t want to contact his competition, Dr Google, and he only got verse when he tried Dr Suess. Since then, I’ve been on a sex fast. It’s cleared my skin, I’m regular and I feel rich now that I’m divorced.”

Maybe all she hankers for is stardom after years as a grey little woman in the grey shadow of a grey geek. Perhaps she should release a sex tape like Kourtney did in 2003 and so many other celebs have done to perk their fans up. But, she sure as hell doesn’t need to advertise as there must be plenty of young bucks out there without much cache who would love to see if their modern hardware can handle her old clunky software with a bit of plug and play.

1 KUWTK – Keeping Up With The Kardashians, an American unreality show. Puke
2 Kourtney Sex fast – interview early March 2022

While researching this piece, I found that, like Kim, Kourtney too has a carefully curated lifestyle and wellness brand marketed via her esoterically named estore called Poosh – I kid you not. So, any South African disappointed at buying her overpriced rubbish would obviously explete, “Kourtney se Poosh!”