Trump was riding high, surfing his personal tsunami after announcing huge reciprocal tariffs on every country in the world.  He then smugly boasted that 50 countries were now “kissing my ass.”  Given Trump’s penchant for hyperbole, it might not have been 50 countries but five piss ant countries.  Perhaps it even included a delegation of tuxedo attired penguins from the McDonald Islands who arrived to give him the bird and flip him off.  But it still played out well with his non-discerning Magalanders especially when Trump threatened to double down if anyone retaliated.  This was a tough guy script straight out of a Hollywood Chuck Norris screenplay.

Enter the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Kung Fu Panda who refused to blink his single epicanthal folds and inscrutably announced retaliatory tariffs which, while not quite matching Trump’s insulting tariffs, sent a message to Trump not to Kung Fu with China. The new Tariff-in-town (self-appointed) was incensed at this temerity and ratchetted up US tariffs. Before any single or double epicanthal folds could blink, the bi-lateral tariffs escalated to 125%. Very soon they would have to introduce scientific notation into their tariff numbers. The little big man blinked first and was forced to eat serious chow mein by removing all tariffs on phones and laptops otherwise the Apple of America’s eye would probably have to file for Chapter Xi. That’s bankruptcy marinaded in soy sauce.

What’s going to happen with his Bro in Arms, Elon? Who knows, but if it continues, perhaps X will meet his Xi too, least regarding his Teslas unless Trump blinks again.