My name is Bond, Nkandla Bond (courtesy of VBS, unpaid of course), aka JZ, aka Spear of the Nation, aka Father of the Nation (23 children and counting), aka uBaba, aka Number One, aka Number One accused, aka Dead Man Walking (according to his medical parole submission).

The genital warts have returned, the rash is back. 

JZ has arisen from the foetid heap of ANC history to haunt SA again by joining the shiny new MK Party.

For SMAC’s look at the 2024 elections, the new MK Party and SA’s oldest politician, now that Gatsha Buthelezi has shuffled off into his sunset, read on

After sliming out of prison by using the fig leaf of a medical parole certificate supplied by the oleaginous Fraser, Zuma kept a relatively low profile apart from filing innumerable Stalingrad legal appeals in his ongoing lawfare to keep himself out of chookie,  medical wing of course.  There were rumblings of his displeasure with Cyril Ramaphosa but outwardly he remained a loyal cadre until 16 December 2023 when he broke cover and officially announced that he was joining the new MK Party.  One is not too sure what they stand for, but they sure stand against a lot of things.

Over the past few years there has been increasing disaffection amongst ANC discards because of the step aside policy, a new dance step for the party better known for its toyi-toying than actually getting the country to work, literally and figuratively.  This has resulted in the coalition of the corrupt and wounded forming a bunch of splinter parties. 

The ANC were hardly stirred, if at all. 

Then in 2023, the MK party arose in KwaZulu Natal as a radical transformation party, heavy on racist flamethrower rhetoric, à la Malema, and light on substance, again à la Malema.  This only stirred the ANC to the extent that it had appropriated its treasured liberation symbology and mythology – MK or uMkhonto weSizwe (Spear of the Nation). 

When JZ presented his membership to the country, he was dismissed as yesterday’s man, and the ANC still was not shook, to use new American parlance.  That is until the polls started coming in which showed very strong support for it, particularly in KZN.  Now they were shaken by his African Trump-like effect on his enthusiastic supporters.

Talking of the Zuma effect, one of his prodigious progeny, his son, Duduzane, threw his hoodie in the ring by forming his own party, the AGC.  He is obviously trading off his father’s name, but hopefully like a virus outbreak, subsequent mutations tend to be less virulent.  Let’s hope that this is the case with him and his poisonous twin sister, Duduzile, who joined the EFF.

Duduzane at least didn’t inherit the calabash head and the reptilian looks. He’s altogether more suave and debonair, a smooth if flashy operator.  But, like his sperm donor dad, he’s an intellectual lightweight.  Who in his right mind thinks that naming a party, All Game Changers, has any gravitas and will be taken seriously by influential political players and voters?  In a press release bemoaning that the IEC saw fit not to register the party, he claimed that SA was being hard done by because with his nous, international relationships and connections, (the Guptas and Dubai I suppose) SA can become a global superpower.  Really!  That clapped out horse died a long time ago.

As the reality of 30 years of ANC misrule hits home, a plethora of pathetic players have cobbled together manifestly deficit manifestos and declared themselves ready to lead SA into a brighter and darker future.  There are 52 parties on the national election lists and hundreds more on regional lists forcing the Government Printers to get a supplementary budget allocation. 

Good luck finding the right box to tick on 29 May 2024.