Just about everything Trump has tried has turned to guano.  Apart from The Apprentice, most of his dealings have lost people a lot of money.  We’re talking about six casino bankruptcies and failed ventures like Trump Airlines, Trump Steaks and Trump University where students received two pieces of paper – a worthless degree certificate and a huge bill.  What about his wives – two failed marriages and, the third, a Barron and Stormy one, where every day Melania wakes up and quietly recites her little survival mantra, “Let me count the days, …”

He would be out of his depth in a fish tank let alone in the complex world of international economics and socio/geopolitics where he has now found himself.  Previously, he had negotiated with bankers and fund managers who were on an endless treadmill to make deals in order for their companies to survive.  They were putty in his grubby showman’s hands as their greed blinded their objectivity.  

On the other hand, international leaders are driven by a complex interaction of things, are answerable to millions and cannot be easily blackmailed or conned.  A good example is the patient James Carney from Canada who has consistently outplayed him.  Now with Iran, he is facing a country controlled by religious zealots who embrace glorious death in the name of their faith.

Just like the five stages of grief, Trump is going through the same the five stages in his (hopefully) brief war.

Denial:  Copying Putin’s ‘Special Operation’ against Ukraine in 2020, which he refused to call an invasion, Trump and his dingleberries have refused to call their military action a war for four weeks even though it has cost $1bn each and every day!  They have called it every other name and even contradicted each other in their attempts to avoid using the term.  Trump even used the extreme euphemism of calling it an ‘excursion’!

Anger:  Trump routinely lays into the press with late night, all cap rants on Truth Social when they call out his lies, exaggerations, contradictions, lack of strategic foresight of the consequences, lack of an exit strategy and constant twisting and turning.  In this he has been strenuously backed up by Hegseth, Secretary of Defense, who bans ‘unpatriotic’ press from Pentagon briefings and Carr, head of FCC (which controls TV and Radio licences) who demands patriotic reporting or else.

Bargaining:  Since Teheran has effectively closed the Straits of Hormuz and the mighty US is powerless against their asymmetric warfare of using cheap drones, Trump has been reduced to bargaining with them using a range of threats that keep evolving as they repeatedly tell him to go hump his camel.

This is roughly the position we have presently reached.

Depression:  Trump’s low energy performances in press briefings and the odd rally, together with his stooped walk indicate a depressed and lost man as yet another of his ‘brilliant’ moves blows up badly in his face.  Attacking Iran was a distraction from the Epstein files but it has gone horribly wrong and he can’t find an exit strategy.  Disastrous midterms are looming when Republicans will probably lose both the House and the Senate so that he won’t be able to implement any policy or control any narrative.  He would be on a double dosage of Xanax if it weren’t for his distraction by bright baubles – he is minting a super large 250-year commemorative gold coin with an image of himself glaring pugnaciously.  He also has the East Wing and the proposed Arc de Trump to dream about during his lonely nights in his cold bed.

Acceptance:  Because Trump or his bro in arms, Nethanyahu, killed the Ayatollah (a direct descendent of Muhammed as witnessed by his black turban), Iran will carry on doing what they are doing no matter the cost until they extract everything from the situation.  Trump has never met this sort of illogical recalcitrance in business and is stymied.  Iran has already indicated that they will not give him an easy out and will only accept total humiliation.  If he had not decapitated their leader, Trump would have stood a chance at some sort of modus vivendi.  Now his only option left is to eat unpalatable humble pie with the Iranians and then spin it back home as a great victory in his inimical way.