By throwing his considerable heft around and through lies, blackmail and threats, Big, Bad Don, or the Bigliest Clown of the 21^st Century, has managed to strongarm his BBB (Big Beautiful Bill) through both the House and the Senate.  But for the Republican Party, it might prove to be a Faustian bargain.  The BBB is like a BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift) and just as gross, or as Musk puts it, “a disgusting abomination”.  And just like the BBL, the misrepresentations by the promoters are not going to age well and the BBB is actually going to push America’s problem of a fiscal deficit over the edge into uncontrollable territory.

The BBB could ultimately prove to be the downfall of Malice in MAGAland’s idea of the new America.   Appropriately SMAC’s response is based on the 1961 country hit, which resonates with the MAGAlanders’ heroic John Wayne type outlook on life, and is titled, Big Bad Don.

If you go to BIG BAD JOHN ~ Jimmy Dean (1961) you can follow the original while reading SMACs lyrics.

(Ding Dong) (Ding Dong)

Every day, long after nine you could see him arrive.
He stood six foot one, weighed two forty five.
Kinda narrow at the shoulder and big at the hip
And everybody knew ya didn’t give no lip to Big Don.

(Ding Dong) (Ding Dong) Big Bad Don (Ding Dong)

Nobody seemed to know where Don called home.
He just flew around, golfed and stayed all alone.
Maligning people, he wasn’t at all shy.
If anyone opposed, he just said goodbye, the Big Don

Couldn’t have raped her, she was below par.
Then he got into a fight over a big porn star
And got a crushin’ blow when put on the stand
Said I’ll see ya later when I win my next hand, Big Don

(Ding Dong) (Ding Dong) Big Bad Don (Ding Dong)

Then the polls collapsed at the end of the next term,
But while the party cracked, big Don stood firm.
GOPers were saying this term is our last.
They all said they′d better jump fast, ‘cept Don

Through the lies and the smoke of his self-made hell
Shambled a bent old man, a hollowed-out shell,
Grabbed a 3-wood and hit the ball with a groan,
But he won the round ‘cos he played there alone, Big Don

(Ding Dong) (Ding Dong) Big Bad Don (Ding Dong)

A last throw of his dice, again attacked the Fed
But the GOPers said, “There’s an exit up ahead!”
As two twenty men escaped a political grave,
There′s one left they’re not going to save, big Don

With hammers and timbers they battened him down.
Still smoke and gas and bile belched from that clown.
The word salads and tangents came so thick and fast,
That even Fox dupes knew this was the end at last for Don

(Ding Dong) (Ding Dong) Big Bad Don (Ding Dong)

No third term, he was shunned and on his own.
Even Melania glared icily and left him alone.
Finally, his orange face became white and deadpan.
His epitaph read, ”Here lies a vain, stupid man.”

(Ding Dong) (Ding Dong) Big Bad Don (Ding Dong) (Ding Dong)

How unlucky can a country be.  America has the world’s richest man and world’s greatest con man, both with multiple factory defects and peculiar world views, reshaping their country by a quiet, or maybe not quiet, revolution.  They were best buddies, politically, but it was only a matter of time before the two superegos would fall out.      

While Musk’s tech bro and bozo-in-arms, Jeff Bezos of ALPHABET looked on bemused, the Twar of the Bozos broke out.  From the Alpha Pale to the Orange Man, from X to T, it ranged through the letters of the alphabet except for F, U, C, K and U.  It was naked aggression except for some of Trump’s letters which were written in CAPS.

Trump had given Elon the keys to the kingdom by making him top DOGE and told him to have fun.  Elon cried havoc and let slip his barely legal nerd minions who were still popping pimples while he popped pills at a prodigious rate.  Like pigs snuffling for truffles, they rooted out all vaguely DEI programs and appointments, no matter how deeply buried and canned years of institutional memory and important programs in the Federal system with the sweep of Elon’s chainsaw.  On 30 May it was time for Elon to return to try to save Tesla from a fate worse than a dead battery (or no battery at all thanks to Trump’s tariff war).  Trump thanked him and presented him with a Disney-esque golden key to the White (and Gold) House.

Meanwhile Trump was pushing his Opus Magnum, his 1000+ page Big Beautiful Bill or BBB. It is actually more prosaically a budget reconciliation bill, but with semantic infiltration, Trump has got everyone, even Democrats, to call it the BBB.  In fact, it is a toxic witches’ brew of every Republican’s personal wet dream and stuffed with pork to suit everyone’s taste.  But instead of decreasing the dangerously high Federal deficit, it looks to increase it and could reduce America to BBB investment grade.

Perhaps Musk felt lonely not being at the centre of the anarchistic vortex anymore or perhaps he was just allergic to B’s.  He fired his first broadside at Trump’s BBB calling it a “disgusting abomination” just after lunch with a side order of uppers on 3 June.  The bromance was dead.  Uncharacteristically Trump did not clap back.  It was only at midday on 5 June after a long night of Presidential briefings – binge watching Fox News – that he took the bait and issued a mild response.  A flurry of provocative Musk posts on X followed including asking for a new political party.  They traded stinging cross court returns like well-seasoned tennis pros with Trump threatening his government contracts which Musk petulantly returned with, “SpaceX will begin decommissioning its Dragon spacecraft immediately.”  At 3:10 Elon snapped and removed his musk to reveal his ace – the Epstein Files which hadn’t been released as promised because his ex-best buddy was in them. Whoa, the Big Mac and its sauce was sure to hit the fan but the Angry Bird was now the adult in the room.  Like an old married partner, he had given Musk the hot tongue, it was time for the cold bum and what a bum.   Looney Tunes continued the twar with no response until 7:30 when he folded – he had no more cards – bummer. 

There was silence in the virtual battlefield.  Musk realised that he had miscalculated.  Six days later in the dark lonely hours of 11 June at 3:00 am, Musk grovelled.

Trump projects many laughable images of himself: One is as a devout Christian attending the odd service or selling Trump endorsed Bibles.  Another is as a great American patriot and hero

Probably the most iconic photograph in American history, as celebrated in their 3¢ stamp, was the raising of the flag on the top Mt Suribachi on the Japanese island of Iwo Jima in WWII.  This was the second last island to be conquered in their island-hopping campaign leading up to an assault on the Japanese homeland which luckily was not needed.  Iwo Jima proved to be their costliest assault in terms or percentages with 28700 casualties.  The casualty rate for the Marines was higher than 50%.  Of the six Marines in the photograph, three were killed within a few days.  Those men were patriots.  They were heroes.  Maybe they were reluctant, but they did what their country asked of them.

Is Trump a hero?  Categorically no.  In the 60’s during the depths of the Cold War, America was increasingly pulled into the shitshow that was Vietnam, part of the ex-French Indochina.  After the Korean War had stalemated in the 1950’s and the Cuban Missile crisis of 1962, this was where the rubber hit the road in stemming the spreading of the dictatorial dead hand of communism.  Did Trump heed the call to defend American values?  No.  He dodged the draft with the ludicrous and spurious claim of suffering from bone spurs put forward by a tame (or paid off) podiatrist.  My dad had his left leg visibly withered by polio.  Did that stop him from volunteering in WWII to serve in the Army and subsequently fight Rommel in the North African desert?  No.  It did not.  Men like that can be called heroes while Trump calls prisoners of war, losers.

79 years after Iwo Jima, Donald Trump was shot at during a campaign rally, a slight occupational hazard for politicians.  Being a school kid is probably more dangerous in America.  Boy, did he play it up!  Apart from Biden’s mumbling and stumbling, this signature event probably did more than anything to cement his second term.  He made sure that the image of him being covered by secret service agents, his blood-flecked ear and a flag in the background was publicised far and wide.  He subsequently hyped it by appearing at rallies with a huge white rectangular ‘wound’ covering, making sure that even people in the back rows could see what a hero he had been.  Was he a hero?  No.  The secret agents were.  For a pretty standard government salary, they are asked to become their charge’s live body armour and they did it without question.  And as for the ‘wound’, it was no more serious than a nick.  How can I say that, firstly, ears bleed profusely and there was scant evidence of that and, secondly, within a few days he had removed the over-the-top wound protection to reveal little sign that anything had happened.  Perhaps he is the Orange Jesus or has superpowers after all as a lot of his superhero images try to proclaim.  He also stated that he felt the hit against his head.  No such thing.  That was the sonic shock wave of the bullet.

And now we come full circle to the man whose patriotism is as fake as his bone spurs.  He recently claimed that Ukraine’s heroic defence against the invasion by a far larger foe intent on its destruction, and who targets its civilians as a matter of strategy and tortures them and prisoners of war, is merely like kids fighting.  This is truly a new low, even for him.

Trump’s 2nd presidency has been unprecedented. This modern-day tyrant has ruled by bleating multiple times per day on his Truth Social social media platform. Hitler and Goebbels used radio, Trump uses the modern equivalents. By the 132-day mark, he had bleated 2262 times (17 per day), many of them in ALL CAPS. It’s a tool he has learnt to wield as it is 3x the rate he bleated during his first presidency.

He has backed these up with 100s of quasi-legal and illegal executive orders. His self-appointed task of reshaping America as been made easier by the fact that the Republicans control the House, the Senate and the Supreme court on top of the Presidency. Somehow Trump controls the Republicans. They either live in awe of him or in fear of him, but it is via Truth Social or the obsequious Fox News that he dominates them.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You can own this beautiful retro vinyl recording of the Truth Social Greatest Hits of your favourite President’s incredible first 100 days in office for as little $49.99.  You will love it.  I chose the retro feel because it will take you back to the time when America was great before all the radical left scum took control of Washington.

You can buy a second one at a $10 discount as a beautiful gift for your amazing MAGA friends.  If you want to, you could buy it for your few non-MAGA friends to upset them.

Visit Trump.org now for online purchases and see what bundle deals are available for a wide range of amazing Trump merchandise – watches, caps, T-shirts, golf shirts, Bibles and much, much more, all signed by Donald J. Trump.

Trump was on the Qatar leg of his schmoozing of the Arabs in his creaking 35-year-plane that was beginning to sag and look a bit care worn.  She had been used by many men and had been around the block many times, indeed, the world. 

Landing at Doha, he spied the Emir’s discarded palace in-the-sky.  His shrivelled heart went out to the little, well not so little, plane sitting all alone, unwanted on her apron in the baking desert heat.  If he was in Egypt, he would have cried out, “Mummy, mummy, I want! Wah, wah!”, but since he wasn’t, he tried, “Daddy, daddy, I want!”  That didn’t work either.  After all, the manchild was the big daddy now.

Shame she was looking so forlorn with her taut 13-year-old body tastefully decked out in virginal white dripping with gold highlights.  All she needed was some kohl around the cockpit windows and she would look like a houri from the back streets of Cairo.  She might be a discard from the Emir’s harem, but he was smitten.  She was also more “impressive” being 6m longer than his old hag.  He just wanted to reach out and grab her by the, ahem, undercarriage.  Perhaps he could ask the Emir what her price was, after all every man has a price as he well knew.  He said a silent prayer to Mammon, crossed his wallet and touched his favourite old relic in his nether regions for luck.  He sent his bro, Steven Witkoff, man Friday and fellow billionaire, to discuss the bride price.  The Emir was flattered and decided to make it a gift saying that she was a fine ride and had only been lightly used. 

Back home the radical left scum were making a big hoo-ha and a brouhaha about his latest houri in Doha while RFK was distracting them with his MAHA.  Melania quietly voice messaged him in her sexy guttural Slavic accent that this would be a conflict of interest and that he must watch himself.  Ha-ha, he tried but he couldn’t see past his boep.  Trump was not deterred and hardened his resolve.  He closed the deal along with many others that were sure to give all his real estate and defence sector bros permanent hard-ons.  In his defence he quoted that age old Arab dictum that you don’t look a gift camel in the mouth (as it might spit in your face). The Emir had played him like a Qatar and was looking forward to at least four more peaceful years without US interference.  It was so easy.  It was like the colonists giving useless trinkets and glass beads to the tribes.  Give him a shiny gift, stroke his ego and you’ve got him by the sensitive bits.  (Ramaphosa tried to flatter him with a huge 14kg book on SA golf courses.  It didn’t work – he doesn’t read.)

Ok, ok, like all good fairy tales or bible stories, that’s not how it actually went down.

It had its genesis way back in the Obama era.  At the time of Trump’s victory in 2016, the Air Force was well underway with the final specification of two replacement planes based on the Boeing 747-8.  From the outside the presidential plane looks very similar to the commercial one, but under the skin it is a very different beast.  A major improvement was to be an air-air refuelling capability allowing the plane to remain in the air for more than a week until the food runs out or everyone shoots each other – could make a nice murder mystery thriller come to think of it.  Eager to prove himself to be the artful dealmaker that he touted himself to be, he complained that the $4.2bn price tag was too high and that they were to be delivered before the end of his term.  His bullying led to a dramatic change.  Boeing had two completed 747-8s airframes of a bankrupt customer which it proposed to convert for a reduction in price and specification.  The major item to go was the refuelling system as it cannot be retrofitted into a completed airframe.  Trump was happy to accept that because he is only interested in superficial image and not on the intrinsic worth.  The other compromise was to use the existing power supply and aircon system which are underpowered for the task. 

Boeing miscalculated the cost of, amongst other things, replacing the 380km of in situ wires with special shielded cables and the electromagnetic radiation hardening of all existing aircraft controls and electronic boxes.  The upshot is that the planes will be barely completed before the end of Trump’s second term.  Meanwhile the Emir’s palace in-the-sky could cost up to $1bn to convert to a sub-military grade US Presidential jet and will only be available just before the end of his term anyway.  It will initially be accepted by the Dept of Defense and then donated to Trump’s presidential library.  At $270,000 per flight hour, it’s anyone’s guess who is going to fly on it, to what end and who’s going to pay for it.  Perhaps it should be called Con Air.

Being a showman, Trump has many signature old man dance moves, playing air accordion when explaining something and strange facial expressions.  The most nauseating is his self-satisfied gloat, which, being Trump, he deploys many times.  But, no, this piece is not about him being smug.  It’s about him being a GLOAT.  Sports fans would immediately recognise what a GOAT is – Greatest Of All Time which is something Trump would sell his soul to be and mostly does.  Being Trump we have to add in a ‘L’ for the ell of it to describe his defining character flaw, namely lying, which includes exaggeration.  Hence he is a GLOAT – The Greatest Liar Of All Time.  

On the campaign trail he trundled out more lies than the Big Macs he scoffed. Overnight fact checking became a growth industry until many gave up, overwhelmed by the avalanche of porkies.  The classic was the emotive, “They (the illegal immigrants) are eating the cats.”  Then there was the price of eggs.  Yes, there was a general uptick in inflation but the much larger increase in egg prices was not due to Biden’s economic policies but was because of culling due to bird flu.  He also stated that he would be bringing the egg prices down by 98% on day one.  Really!  That would put the price of a single egg at around 2¢.  This was not the only day one boast.  There were many others including stopping the Ukraine war.

On assuming office, he went feral and declared economic war on the world, even his allies.  His primary attack was by means of tariffs.  This, he said, would be paid by the exporting country.  Either he is economically stupid or he was lying – take your pick.  He then exaggerated the trade deficits of some countries by a factor of up to two to justify his actions and then changed the number in different interviews.  In fact, he was just pulling numbers out of his thin hair to amplify his talking point.  In maths all numbers actually have real and imaginary components with the latter denoted by ‘i’, eg 3 +i4.  In Trump’s imaginary world, all his numbers, and everything else have to do with ’I’ and are real.

Trump lies about everything, including trivial things and even when he doesn’t have to.  Perhaps this was hardwired in him at birth or perhaps he is delusional or perhaps, because he always wants to be the centre of attention, he will make stuff up if not.  Perhaps he suffers from his brand of Trump Derangement Syndrome, namely ADD – (other people’s) Attention Deficit Disorder.

His father got a tame doctor to diagnose Trump’s bone spurs to avoid the draft.  Fast forward about 50 years:  To much derision during his first presidency, he got a doctor to report that he was an incredible physical specimen which the doctor later recanted. To avoid similar derision in his second term he got a military doctor to report in detail on a wide range of tests to prove that he was healthy except for one small nagging detail.  The doctor noted that he was 6’ 3” tall.  He might have been that when young but all recent photos show him to be just over 6’ which would be a standard consequence of aging.  He just couldn’t resist the lie could he.

Finally, according to Trump, he always wins at his golf tournaments.  This will either make him the biggest cheat or the greatest liar since Pinocchio.  He’s the Liar King and deserves to be called Donocchio, the GLOAT.

For those who did not have the benefit of a classical education, Samuel Coleridge wrote the lyric, The Rimes of the Ancient Mariner, in 1797-8.  It is about a sailing ship on a long sea voyage which finds itself in a terrible storm but gets to better weather by following an albatross.  For whatever reason, the mariner shoots the albatross which leads to bad luck for the ship.  The ship’s company are pissed off with him and hang the albatross around his neck.  He is the only eventual survivor of the series of calamities that befall the ship and its crew.  For SMAC’s take on the relevance of this to our world today, read on

In his second term, the oldest elected president has already issued a bewildering array of executive orders that are illegal, borderline illegal or controversial and has otherwise conducted himself in an unprecedented, unconstitutional and unbecoming manner.  He has taken aim at all the arms of the federal government system, and is tearing them up one by one, not because they are immoral, but because they stand in the way of his and his rich buddies’ feral brand of capitalism. 

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Trump’s disagreeable character traits run the full gamut and most pertain to his narcissism.  At the Pope’s funeral, attendees were requested to wear a black suit and tie.  Trump did not.  This is crass Trump behaviour all over again as he always tries to make the situation about himself, even during the most sensitive and solemn of times.

In the past week again we saw his crassness writ large.  With the whole Catholic world in mourning and about to enter the solemn phase of electing a new Pope, someone posted an AI image of Trump as a Pope on his Truth Social account.  This was then reposted by the White House across social media.  When asked about it, instead of distancing himself, he embraced it by saying, “I had nothing to do with it.  It was just, somebody did it in fun. It’s fine. Have to have a little fun don’t you?”  Inwardly he was rather chuffed.  After all, he had himself reimagined as various Marvel comic book heroes, but like them, the comparison was illusionary.  He is not religious, does not lead a pious life and is not selfless unless that act, and an act it is, actually advantages himself.

They say that dogs resemble their owners.  This is true for Trump’s cabinet where his undercooked stooges share many of his characteristics.  Even Melania once famously wore a jacket with the words “I don’t care” written across the back.  Talking of Melania, she has only spent 14 of Trump’s first 108 days at the White House.  Given Trump’s penchant for insulting people like when he accused some Republicans as being RINOs – Republicans In Name Only – Melania should be addressed as a WINO – Wife In Name Only.  Given the icy Slavic stares she gives Trump most of the time, he must be effectively celibate which I suppose is one requirement for being a Pope.

At the time of writing this, the new Pope was elected.  Having teased the dumb MAGA crowd with his Pope image earlier, their jubilation on hearing that the new Pope is American turned sour when it turned out not to be Trump.  What are they going to do – claim the election was rigged and storm the Vatican?

No sooner had His Excellency, The Most Righteous Donald Trump jnr been inaugurated into the No. 1 Office of the Presidency of the United States of MAGAland than he sicced his dutiful and obsequious minions on the US Federal and Justice systems and the world trading system. 

According to Ussher, God created Adam on the 28^th October 4004 BC just after lunch time.  He then created Eve and after a stern admonishment about extra-curricular activities, he left them to their own devices, not that they had any back then, while he went off to bed.  After an extremely busy previous 6 days, he had a well-deserved lie-in on the 7^th day. 

Fast forward 6019 years and one man had an inspiration in between inhaling Big Macs and draining diet Cokes.  That man was Donald Trump once referred to by a Republican lawmaker as the orange Jesus.  On the 14^th July 2015*, he created MAGA, a peculiar pigment of his imagination.  MAGA is a new world order populated by a throwback sub-species of man known as Homo Republicus Americanus.  Since America is a nation of immigrants, legal and illegal over the years, this species comprises many sub-sub-species, of which Homo Mid-Westernus Americanus is the most prominent.  They are mainly Caucasian and share many obnoxious characteristics.  They are predominantly red-blooded males who have a love/hate relationship with society:

• Love gladiatorial contests like cage fighting, WWE Raw and football.
• Love guns – the more the better – and sayings like “Love is a Warm Gun”.
• Love bad-ass pickup trucks – the bigger the better.
• Love conspiracy theories and watch Faux News.
• Love patriotic bumper stickers and flying the American and/or Confederate flags.
• Love all forms of Christianity even the fraudulent and flaky versions.
• Love the Bible but selective about living by its code.
• Love tough guy movies with big explosions, epic car chases/crashes and titanic fistfights.
• Hate LGBTQ+ people.
• Hate immigrants, particularly Mexicans and South Americans.
• Hate abortions but struggle to define when life begins.
• Hate all other religions (but cut the Jews a lot of slack).
• Hate ‘sensitive’ movies.

Generally they have stunted critical thinking processes and consider America to be the greatest thing since sliced bread (which they invented).  They think they were created to rule over earth particularly its shit hole countries and backward people.  Their wives range from being just as bigoted and hateful as their husbands to those who are totally subservient to them. 

And so a pall has been cast over America.

* Actually, that other American deity, Ronald Reagan, had first used a similar version during his 1980 Presidential campaign, “Let’s Make America Great Again”, but he didn’t trademark it as Trump did on this date.

Trump’s first month in office has been a whirlwind shitshow that has left countries and American citizens rattled and fearful.  But what is driving him?  SMAC has taken a deep dive into the belly of the beast to try to explain this unprecedented phenomenon that is akin to a massive asteroid hitting the Earth (but we didn’t see it because all NASA employees have been fired by Musk to improve efficiency).

Until he started running for the presidency against Hilary Clinton, what did we know about Donald Trump?  Nothing much really except for his successful reality show, The Apprentice.  Some who took a deeper interest knew that he wasn’t a particularly successful businessman.  In fact, he was disastrous.  He managed to bankrupt three hotels and three casinos.  You really have to work at bankrupting a cash machine like a casino.  He had six other ventures that platzed, the most prominent of which were the Trump Shuttle airline and the Trump University.  The latter also left all his graduates with expensive but worthless degrees. 

So how did he get to be president … twice?  His weapons of choice are mis-directions,  lies and exaggerations which he uses like a stripper uses silicone – nothing’s real and it’s just there to attract and distract you to part with your money – and in his latest venture, your votes.  Some of his lies are outrageous:  In 2015 his personal physician, Dr Borstein, released a letter saying that Trump had “extraordinary physical strength and stamina” and he would be “the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency”.  The superlatives and the style cast doubt on its authenticity which was confirmed by Borstein before his death in 2021 when he admitted that Trump dictated the letter.

Following the playbook of the Nazi Minister of Propaganda, Joseph Goebbels, where one repeats the lie until it becomes a fact, Trump used the far broader reach of social media where his supporters became unwitting propagandists by retweeting his talking points.  An analysis of just Trump’s Twitter feed from June 2015, when he declared his 2016 presidential run, until January 8 2021, when he was booted off, reveals the following: He insulted Hillary Clinton 646 times by calling her a criminal amongst other things with most over less than six months before the November 20 election.  That’s an average of 3 to 4 per day.  Over the full period of around 260 weeks, he denigrated the legacy media 1288 times and used the phrase “fake news” more than 500 times.  This was gaslighting at its worst.  Another feature was Trump’s vile and vindictive personal attacks on people he didn’t like.

His second presidency has displayed even more than before that he is a bully.  He has declared war on every country.  With his BFF, Elon, by his side the next phase of human history might become known as World War X.   But it doesn’t stop there.  He has also declared war on everyone (federal workers, LGBTQIA+ people, migrants, Democrats, and anyone who did him a perceived injustice including prosecutors and the FBI) and everything (wind turbines, plastic straws, low flow shower heads).  The last two show how single-mindedly petty he is all because he has a personal gripe.  He does this because he can – firstly, because the USA is by far the most powerful country financially and militarily and whose dollar is effectively the reserve currency of the world and secondly because his toadies in the majority in both the Senate and the House as well as the Supreme Court have got his back not to mention His Master’s Voice, Fox News.  In his first term he tested the limits of what he could get away with and then came four years in the wilderness during which he marinaded in his grievances and victimhood during his court cases.  This has empowered and emboldened him to be off-the-charts outrageous.

His character is a complex assembly of asinine ideas, half-baked conspiracy theories, festering vindictiveness and many other distasteful traits in his amoral bubbling personal cauldron but the most important idee fixe is the word me.  He has no alter ego just ego.