A different view on current affairs & history
In the latest edition of the Heritage Portal, Peter Ball presents a concise, lucid and fascinating account of the history of why and how the various countries in the world elected to drive on which side of the road.
With the majority of the countries driving on the right – 161 – versus 75 on the left, would or should there be standardisation to driving on the right.
Main picture: Map of the world indicating which side every country drives on
Laurent Schwebel was an internationally renowned nature photographer. At 8am on 8th February 2012, he was stabbed to death in Plaza San Martin, a main square in Buenos Aires while taking picture of a memorial statue. When a thug attempted to garb his camera, Laurent tackled the thief who stabbed him repeatedly.
Main picture: One of the many evocative photographs by Laurent Schwebel
I do not believe in luck, I certainly do not rely on providence and, contrary to some narratives, I place no significance on these highly improbable coincidences. Furthermore I scoff at and am extremely sceptical of accepting any correlation between these events. My only reaction is amazement. All of these events bear no significance other than the fact that of the millions of actions occurring throughout the world on a second by second basis, a minute percentage will bear the appearance of serendipity or coincidence.
That is how these examples of coincidence must be viewed; amusing sometimes, interesting certainly but never prophetic.
Main picture: World War I began with the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria. The license plate of the car in which he was riding at the time of his death was AIII 118. WWI officially ended on Armistice Day: 11/11/18.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.”
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
The SAS did. Since their inception during WW2, the SAS has been involved in numerous audacious missions. After narrowly escaping closure at the end of the war, they established the relevance in the Iranian embassy siege and during the Falkland’s war. Currently they are deployed in Iraq, Syria and also in Libya.
Main picture: The SAS squad disguised themselves as ISIS commanders’ wives to infiltrate Raqqa
Main picture: Vintage Winston Churchill
Most of us have only recently acquired HD TVs when a vastly improved new standard UHD – Ultra High Definition – was announced. This new standard offered double the resolution of HD – 3849 x 2160 pixels. The picture quality of these TVs is so stunning that even if one stands less than a metre from the screen, no pixilation can be seen. In fact I have stood less than a centimetre away and no pixels are visible. Just when I promised myself to indulge in one if I ever had to win the Lotto – the US’s version has a prize of $430 million this week – I read the following headline: Samsung vs LG: the battle of fake and true UHD TVs. What does that mean for us?
Main picture: A Samsung 105in curved UHD TV currently retailing for R 285 000
Arguably for the contrarians, Tenzing Norgay was the first. The facile explanation would be something along the lines of because he led the way or he only stepped aside at the last moment so that Edmund Hillary, the New Zealand beekeeper, could overtake him in order to summit first. What is not factored into this superficial comment is that without Hillary’s finance, determination & wherewithal Tenzing would never have set foot upon the summit. Aside from Tenzing could there indeed have been an earlier person?
Even though the Tibetans & Nepalese had occupied the area adjacent to Chomolungma or Sagarmāthā, as they respectively called Mount Everest for millennia, both are unlikely candidates for two very cogent reasons: technological and religious aside from the fact that Tenzing Norgay had already attempted the climb six times previously and failed. The technological reason is that the majority of climbers require bottled oxygen in order to climb the last 3000 feet. A number of people have attempted a natural climb but that is an extreme rarity even for Sherpas. Even with supplementary oxygen, the average climber is at the limit of their oxygen endurance.
Main picture: Conrad Anker climbing Everest
I have been a keen follower of the internet shopping from its exuberant birth in the 1990s. The prognosis was that within 10 years, the demise of physical stores would become a reality. Reality TV shows showcased celebrities attempting to survive without ever entering a shop. Doomsday predictions abounded. Even within the steel industry where I was working at the time, the death of the steel merchant was predicted.
Main picture: A worker is seen in the Amazon.co.uk warehouse in Milton Keynes, north of London
Winston Churchill loved paraprosdokians, figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.
1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
5. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
7. They begin the evening news with ‘Good Evening,’ then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted pay checks.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put “DOCTOR.”
11. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street…with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
13. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
15. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
16. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
17. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
18. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
19. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
20. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
21. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
22. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
23. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
24. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but now it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one.