A SMAC in the Face #38: And the Hits Keep Coming

By Blaine McCleland in Port Elizabeth of Yore 0 Comment

People don’t like to admit that they are irresistibly drawn to ogle at car accidents – it’s sort of like hardcore car porn.  Of course, I am not a voyeur like those.  I only slow down and gawk for purely technical reasons.  I wish to satisfy my scientific curiosity about the cause and how humans contrive to be so stupid.  It can only be for similar reasons that people continue to devour the news although they know that its going to be relentlessly awful in South Africa.  Again, I hold myself to a higher standard – I do it as it is grist for the mill of my satire.

The past week has been no exception, probably no worse than normal, but I was attracted to an article that stated that the paramedics in the Fort Beautfort area have been on strike for two months.  There is no consequence management as they report to work and get paid but they do nothing.  Nice non-work if you can get it.  I now wear a neck brace because I shake my head so often at the shenanigans that pass for acceptable behaviour in this blighted country, and that’s being polite about it.

I have some issues with Musk but on the whole he’s a breath of fresh air in this pathetic new world and he cuts through all the bullshit that disguises itself as real issues.   For instance, he’s had enough of his staff working from home and he wants them in the office for at least 40 hours per week or take a hike.  As he communicated this via Twitter, someone tweeted him, accusing him of ‘antiquated practices’.  His succinct response took no prisoners – “They should pretend to work somewhere else.”  Game, set and match.  Wow, we could do with a bit of hard-arsed management.

The previous week set the tone for me.  The Auditor General’s report on municipal finances showed that we are a flailing state if not a failing state and on track to be a failed state.   This week the news cycle has been relentless – horrific vehicle accidents with 13 killed in one, truck blockages of major transport routes, Sowetan protests, one of Gqeberha’s dams empty and another days away, the second police Lieutenant-General to be charged with serious fraud in the last few weeks, warning of an e-coli tsunami given the parlous state of our water treatment plants and this is over and above the standard weekly fare of murder for every reason imaginable, rape, fraud, political mayhem in the ANC and the rise of the RET faction, loadshedding, ad bloody finitum.

The only bright spot was the much-delayed final Zondo report on State Capture, and it’s a page turner – it makes War and Peace look like an elementary reader.  It remains to be seen if it’ll just end up as a doorstopper in some back office of the NPA.  It’s a long road yet before we see this cast of rogues behind bars but at least they will be forever tainted by Zondo’s words – corruption and state capture writ large.

Even if the NPA can be resourced to tackle just the fallout from this in our lifetime, corruption has become so entrenched at all levels that it will be generations before we can rid ourselves of this scourge and that’s if we have the will to do it.  Even if we’re successful there, corruption is just the tip of the turd that’s floating in the cesspool that constitutes SA.  There are all the other forms of criminal behaviour that are the warp and weft of our society and then there’s all the developmental issues – housing, water, electricity, sanitation, jobs, eradication of pit toilets, also ad bloody infinitum.

Port Elizabeth of Yore: The Buntons make their Mark

By Dean McCleland in Port Elizabeth of Yore 0 Comment

Today the deeds of two Buntons more than a century ago are known by less than several dozen people yet in their heyday they were both well-known but for vastly different reasons. Walter Bunton converted the Grand Hotel into the Bunton’s Grand Hotel, not a mere name change but a conversion into the greatest hotel in the emerging town, fit for the great and good of the Cape, the British Empire and beyond. Upon Walter’s death, his son, Henry, would assume control of the hotel.

On the other hand, Walter’s sister, Harriet Meyer, nee Bunton, had divergent interests. The one for which she made her name was promoting the building of an equestrian monument to commemorate the hundreds of thousands of horses killed during the Anglo Boer War.

Then their life’s candle would gutter and be snuffed out and the light which they shone on the world would gradually fade away, eventually to be forgotten. This blog is an attempt to correct this omission from history.

 Main picture:  Bunton’s Grand Hotel on the corner of Belmont Terrace and Prospect Hill. It was the most important hotel of its time.

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A SMAC in the Face #37:  ONO, It’s Laundry Day

By Blaine McCleland in Jokes 0 Comment

In the old days, OMO washing powder advertised that it makes ‘whites bright’.  Definitely, that had to go and they’ve replaced it with some rather anaemic slogans.  Two-fisted punch was obviously a non-starter.  Not only was it already taken, it would make the laundry room feel like an unsafe space and the TV adverts would have to carry a trigger warning.  So, we are left with The Power of 10 Hands and Tough Stain Removal.

No matter what your preference is, there seems to be no detergent, mechanism or intervention that can deliver clean Municipal Audit Outcomes.  We are into the 29th year of the ‘New and Improved South Africa’ and the overall municipal finances are a disaster area.  Granted a Municipality has a very difficult job but, of all its functions, the easiest is to financially account for what it did do irrespective of whether it’s failing its mandate.  Accounting is a mechanistic process.  There is no need to reconcile conflicting human and political interests, being creative with solutions to intractable problems, extracting income from recalcitrant or poverty-stricken ratepayers, planning and regulation, generating and realising a vision, etc.  Once the accounting system has been set up properly, it’s mainly a case of following the recipe. 

Last week saw the Auditor-General release her annual report on this cesspool.  Of the 257 Municipalities, 25% (Western Cape – 3%) had going-concern problems.  Even more frightening was that 75% could not provide quality financial statements.  The Western Cape achieved 22 (73%) unqualified audit outcomes while the rest of South Africa received only 19 (8.4%)!  25 Municipalities (Western Cape – 0) seemed to take the modern trend of the paperless office to the point that the Auditor-General could not even begin to make adverse findings and just disclaimed them.  We do not know if this lack of paperwork is wilful to obscure corruption or due to incompetence and slackness.  I suspect a combination.  Most disaffected whities would automatically blame corruption, but that is contradicted by the creditors books which run at an average of 275 days (excluding the WC – 63 days).  Normally deals involving corruption are sorted out fast.  Also, the debtors books, running at 220 days (excluding the WC – 49 days), indicate that the financial systems have all but collapsed.   In the Free State, the creditors and debtors books are running at eye-watering 483 and 563 days respectively and for the Northern Cape they are 527 and 167.  There are many other metrics but they all tell the same grim story, just from different angles – barring the Western Cape which stands out as a beacon, the financial systems of the municipalities are chaotic and dysfunctional and that they haven’t collapsed yet is a miracle.

But what is glaringly obvious is the lack of consequence management otherwise these problems would not persist year after year.  Maybe we do need some two-fisted punch after all.

Port Elizabeth of Yore: Annerley Terrace

By Dean McCleland in Port Elizabeth of Yore 0 Comment

In the 19th century Annerley Terrace was amongst the most historic roads in the emerging town of Port Elizabeth. Many of the newly minted elite resided here on what was previously the Garrison’s land. Like most streets on the Hill, as it was called, Annerley Terrace, was short, running from Gordon Terrace to Bird Street.

Main picture: Annerley Terrace in1867. In the foreground is a camp on the Military Reserve. Behind it on the left is the house built c1850 for William Henderson. but later it was the home of H. H. Solomon. Then come the homes of Sir Frederick Blaine (“Bay View House”) & Sir Edgar Walton (“Annerley House”) whch is still standing. In the centre is “Annerley Terrace”, built by 1864 for John Paterson

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Port Elizabeth of Yore: 1888 – Another Disastrous Storm

By Dean McCleland in Port Elizabeth of Yore 0 Comment

The Rocket Brigade in Action

During the age of sail vicious storms were always potentially disastrous for ships as the fierce gusting winds could drive ships onto the coast fatally wrecking them. In the case of Algoa Bay, it was renowned for treacherous south-easters during the latter half of the year. To assist in the rescue operations, the local regiment, Prince Alfred’s Guards, established a separate unit known as the Rocket Brigade.

This blog deals with the rescue operations during this unprecedented storm

Main picture:  The PAG’s Rocket Brigade in action during the 1888 gale

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Port Elizabeth of Yore: The multi-racial Union Chapel and School

By Dean McCleland in Port Elizabeth of Yore 2 Comments

The Congregational Union Chapel in Chapel Street was never one of the foremost churches in Port Elizabeth but in two ways it was unique in that it held mixed services with khoikhoi and whites as well as mixed schooling. It might not have been a prominent church but it went into use in May 1828 which was four years ahead of St. Mary’s making it de facto the first completed church building in Port Elizabeth.

Main picture: Chapel Street. Union Chapel was enlarged in 1882 to plans by John Thornhill Cook & was demolished in 1964.

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Port Elizabeth of Yore: Robert Pinchin: The Engineering Juggernaut

By Dean McCleland in Port Elizabeth of Yore 0 Comment

Robert Pinchin should be remembered for his contribution to the development of Port Elizabeth and the water supply in particular. In 1862 he wrote a treatise advocating the Van Stadens Water Scheme. It was only after more than a decade of prevarication that the Town Council acted upon his recommendation. Moreover he was involved in engineering in all its manifestaions. Ironically what he is remembered for is his ascent of the Cockscomb peak in April 1870.

Main picture: Baakens Street. 1862. The house centre right is on the land granted on 1 Oct 1821 to D.A.C.G. John Craig. At the end of 1826 he sold the land with a stone house. The house became the property of Capt. John Burton, then his widow Mary, who married Thomas Henry Martyn. Mary Ann Burton then married Robert Pinchin, and after her death he and their daughter lived here with his mother-in-law – hence Pinchin Lane. It was sold to Mangold Bros. in July 1879 for their foundry, and they demolished it in 1882 for stores.

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Port Elizabeth of Yore: John Harrison Clark

By Dean McCleland in Port Elizabeth of Yore 0 Comment

Among Port Elizabeth’s early entrepreneurs was one, John Harrison Clark, whose occupation is given as merchant. According to the Port Elizabeth Directory and Almanac of 1877 he sold hardware from premises at 14, 16 & 18 Main Street. The company John H. Clark & Co was bookended between Dreyfuss & Co in front of St. Mary’s Church occupying erfs 2 to 12 and on the northern side of Clark’s premise, was Standard Bank. On the opposite side of Main Street at number 11, was John Geard’s ironmongery shop.

This is a brief blog on the life of John Harrison Clark.

Main picture: Property of John Harrison Clark in Rufane Vale which formed part of Baakens Valley. Originally part of the property owned by Jonathan Board, the first “cottage” was erected here by 1852 when he offered the lease for sale.

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