Novaxx, the Grand Prix of pricks, is on the cusp of becoming tennis’s greatest, a GOAT*.  Butt like a goat, he is obstinate and not easily led, except by the woo woo crowd.

He first fell under the spell of the dubious Dr Igor Cetojevic, a Serbian “specialist in energetic medicine”, who demonstrated that the mere proximity of gluten weakens him.  This he proved by asking him to hold a slice of bread against his stomach.

He then fell under the sway of Pepe Imaz, a coach-cum-spiritual guide, who extolled the beneficial power of extremely long hugs amongst other things.  With this guru’s influence, he started to extoll the virtues of telekinesis and telepathy.  Maybe that’s how he manages to serve so many aces.  He believes in “gifts from a higher order, the source, the god, whatever,” and the mystical healing powers of the Pyramid of The Sun in the Bosnian town of Visoko.   It’s a pity a about all the human sacrifices that seeed to be associated with pyramids across many cultures.

He has since struck up a friendship with the wellness entrepreneur, Chervin Jafarieh, who sells all manna of natural supplements.  Djokovic has also famously claimed toxic food and polluted water could be purified through “energetical transformation, through the power of prayer, through the power of gratitude”.  This is a trick that our evangelical con-man pastors should learn.

With all this going for him its obvious that Novaxx is going to become the healthiest and wealthiest and biggest GOAT of them all.  Nadal and Federer don’t stand a chance aginst all this voodoo science.

Coming back to his vaccination issues, he is obviously not sponsored by Nike because he would have been in violation of their logo – Just Do It – having not ticked that box yet or intending to either.

*GOAT – Greatest Of All Time

Being (supposedly) good socialists amongst their many ill-formed policies, there are a number of trigger words for the EFF and the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank feature strongly on that list.  So it was no surprise that, when a World Bank loan of R11.5bn (about 0.25% of GDP) was announced to help with SA’s Covid recovery efforts, the EFF’s room temperature IQ Dlamini sprang into action like a good attack dog to denounce it on the 22^nd of January.

Novaxx successfully appealed his detention by the Australian immigration authorities on the grounds of a procedural technicality.  His freedom was fleeting and his visa was revoked again.  This time his appeal was unsuccessful and three judges double faulted him on the 16^th, declaring him out of bounds.

In his typical Rough Rider approach, Juju opined on a radio program on the 12^th January that vaccination should not be forced on anyone, just like the wearing of condoms is not compulsory.  However, with his Featherlite IQ, he failed to realise the fatal flaw in his argument – other people do have the right to insist that you wear a condom when you ‘interact’ with them and, with Covid, that interaction is happening all the time whether you like it or not.

The ANC held a gala dinner in Polokwane on the 7^th January in the runup to their annual mastubarory celebrations of their founding. With tables being sold for up to R1.2 million to pay outstanding salaries, Squirrel Ramaphosa, no great orator, was about to bore the audience with his keynote address when the power failed.  This made lots of people happy.  The RET faction quietly cheered along with the doomsayers outside of the ANC tent.  The group that smiled the most were those there that could get on with their drinking and not having to be bored by Squirrel’s laborious speech as is his style.

For once, that poster child of ANC incompetence – Eskom – wasn’t to blame, but sabotage which made the reference to Götterdämmerung particualy apt.

After weeks of speculation as to whether he would play in the 2022 Australian Open given his refusal to get vaccinated, Novac Djokovic landed in Australia on the 5^th of January.  He was immediately detained for hours before authorities took him to a government detention hotel for failure to comply with Australian entry regulations with respect to Covid.

The good news is that 2022 seems to be the year that we finally get Covid under control and learn to live with what we can’t control.  Although SA’s vaccination rates have been low – only 28% fully vaccinated and 0.8% boosted – we are probably approaching herd immunity.  The SA Medical Research Council estimates Covid deaths at nearly 300,000 or more than 3x the official death figures which implies that most people have already been infected.  This is borne out by random sampling for antibodies and that our recent fourth wave which hardly caused a ripple.

For all those who partied like it was 2019, I wish you a speedy recovery.