Trump has more early morning brain farts than your average pubescent boy has early morning wet dreams. The comparison is apt. Both have messy and normally embarrassing outcomes. Trump is no stranger to both results with the exception that he’s never embarrassed. That particular piece of his 101-piece jigsaw puzzle is missing – a factory fault. The difference is that wet dreams are the involuntary remit of pre-mature boys whereas the brain farts of the magnitude of Trump’s are the territory of a post-mature arsehole.
His latest wet dream brain fart is the petty one of renaming Lake Ontario to Lake America because he is irked that Canada won’t be cowed by his trade war threats. The fact that was known as Lake Ontario before the USA even became an independent nation is meaningless to Trump because his knowledge of history only extends as far as his last Big Mac.
The last time he did this was early on in his ill-conceived global trade war using unilaterally decided tariffs as a weapon. He had a particular animus towards Mexico probably because of immigrants and drugs entering the States and made a great play of issuing an executive order that changed the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America – as petty as petty can get. If he ever joined the Navy he would immediately rise to the rank of Petty Officer and remain that way until retirement.
Of course, all the tech bros, mindful of their billions and Trump’s retribution, fall in line and using Google Maps in the U.S. will see “Gulf of America,” and people in Mexico will see “Gulf of Mexico.” Everyone else will see both names. Likewise for the rebranded Lake America.
Picking Rodin’s statue, The Thinker, is appropriately snarky because he is the antithesis of a thinker. The depth of his thinking is no deeper than his famously thin skin which matches his shallow character. It is also apt because of the whole Emperor’s clothes thing. Changing that to The Stinker is an obvious next step as all his brain farts stink and he literally does too. Judging by the reactions of people around him at pressers, he sometimes fires off some real whoppers. He is also spotted with suspiciously bulky underwear and it isn’t the latest in bulletproof apparel to protect the family jewels. Normally, this never be something to mock in an 80-year-old, but since he is a malicious and serial insulter and since he is inordinately proud of the AI slop portraying him as a manly heroic figure, it’s game on.