The last three matches of the Rugby World Cup were faster than the Fast and the Furious, more brutal than the Gladiator and had more drama than your average soapie.  But ultimately they were muggings on steroids.  The three teams – France, England and New Zealand must have asked themselves how did the amaBokke manage it – single point wins, three weeks in a row.  SMAC doesn’t know either.  In fact, he’s gobSMACed.  It wasn’t pretty, but there it is and it will be thus till eternity.

The State of the Nation Address (SONA) normally follows a predictable pattern. This year was no different.  It kicks off with a distasteful display of female politicians trying to outdo each other in the mutton dressed as ham stakes.  Someone should tell them the address part is about a speech, not a fashion parade. Someone should also tell all the ANC politicians that the walk up the red carpet is not like the Grammys or the Oscars but, for them, a walk of shame and, for some, a perp walk. Then it was on to the address itself.

The roots of Antony Scott-Parkin can be traced to long before the arrival of his great great grandfather John Parkin in Port Elizabeth in 1820. Whereas John made his mark as a property owner, Anthony would be remembered as the incongruous combination as lawyer and finally as a priest. Also of interest is the conversion of the surname Parkin into Scott-Parkin.

Main picture:  Anthony Scott-Parkin

The erection of this library was made possible by a donation from the Estate of William Savage and a subsidy from the Colonial Government. Hence the hall was named the Savage Memorial Hall in commemoration. The winning design was submitted by the architect Henry (Harry) Arthur Cheers. Orlando Middleton was selected as the Project Architect.

Two other designs were submitted.

Main picture: The runner-up designed by Bateman & Bateman

There has been much bewildering change over the 28 years of the New South Africa, especially for the Afrikaner. All their favourite institutions are under continual attack and are inexorably swamped. However, one institution remains that, if anything, has got stronger – The Hitching Post in the Farmers Weekly and the Opsitkers in the Landbouweekblad.  (Opsitkers = sit up candle.  Before the Rinderpest, when a gentleman suitor came a-calling, the parents would leave the young couple alone but a candle was lit. This was not to create a romantic ambience. It was the timekeeper and its length depended on how favoured the suitor was. When the candle burnt down, he had to leave.  Ag shame, how sweet.)

Upfront, SMAC must make a few disclaimers and admissions. He is no consumer on the OnlyFans site and hence his detailed knowledge is sketchy. Also in his lonely young adult years, he did occasionally peruse the Farmers Weekly while in the dentist’s waiting room – kind of a distraction before the extraction – but more for the cheap farms than the beefy farmers.  It would however seem that on the OnlyFans site, young women can make ridiculous amounts of money for no more than titillating poses which seriously repressed and lonely males can access on their phones for a small fee. There is no requirement for clean-shaven, gynaecologically detailed poses that are the staple of the modern porn industry. In fact, it Is even possible to turn a buck by putting pictures of naked feet out there. It always amazes how people get their kicks.

The average farmer only has his workers, livestock and tractors (and vrou lief of course) for company. Ja, there is still the opsitkers but that is used in the toilet during loadshedding so that he doesn’t miss the bowl. The Hitching Post is all very well and good for the young farmer who needs a wife for breeding stock but what does he do for a bit of excitement, that extra frisson? It is logical then to start a similar thing that is more directly focussed on their needs and desires and OnlyFarms would be an appropriate forum.

When the 87-year-old internationally acclaimed Ndebele artist, Dr Esther Mahlangu, was attacked and robbed earlier this year, @kgadi_ZA tweeted that South Africa is a crime scene.  When the horrendous crime stats for the first three months of the year were reported this week, DA MP, Andrew Whitfield, also used that description.  I can’t agree more except to note that it is an active and evolving crime scene with little chance of resolution.

South Africa has lost its world status in most activities except for violent crimes.  We are right there with the best of the worst.  Excluding small Caribbean islands, Wikipedia puts us at 7^th.  You are about 6 times mores likely to be murdered than in the US and about 20 times more likely than in Europe.  Outside of warzones, South Africa is an exceptionally dangerous place to live.  The total personal contact crimes for 2019/20 which, given the violent nature of SA, can be life changing is 621 262 or more than one incident per 100 people.  Since most times more than one victim is involved in, say, a house breaking or hijacking, the number of people affected is probably more than 1 in 50.  Its amazing that our society still functions.  With a few years of stats like these, just about everyone should be booked off work for PTSD.  

But the stats don’t reveal the associated level of violence and depravity.  In the mid-80s, I got a teaser of this new phenomenon, at least in white areas.  My wife and I were strolling through a parking lot in Sandton when we were set upon by four thugs.  One went for my wife and three laid into me trying to relieve me of cash and some superfluous red blood cells.  One rudely stabbed me before he even asked permission while another was waiting to get a clear shot at my neck with a sword.  The third, right in front of me could have had a gun as we later found out, but I was too busy worrying about the sword and running through my mind Monty Pythonesque images of lopped-off limbs and heads and fending off repeated knife attacks.  They were part of a large gang who terrorised Joburg for about three weeks.  When they were finally rounded up, they were charged with two or three murders, about 20 attempted murders and more than 50 cases of aggravated assault.  Today we routinely have criminal gangs of 10 to 20 armed with assault rifles that disdainfully treat cash-in-transit vehicles as their personal ATMs.  Or the farm murders where people are tied up and tortured before being killed. 

Then we have rape.  Take the October 2015 case where two couples were having an evening stroll in Rhodes Park, Joburg.  Their lives were shattered when they were accosted by a gang of 12 men.  One of the women was raped and the men tied up and tossed into the lake to drown.  What about an incident in April where a 15-year-old girl was raped and her eyes gouged out!  When it comes to rape in South Africa, it’s often not about power as some sociologist try excuse.  There’s an element of barbarity where no female from baby to 85-year-old gogo is excluded as prey.  I could accept it if these were isolated incidents, but they’re not.  Excuse me for being well adjusted, but I cannot begin to comprehend that depravity.