Quo Vadis: NDE, LBJs & other TLAs

With Quo Vadis’ resident chef not being in attendance on the Barrett’s Coaches Hike at Kaapsehoop, I expected some twittering in the ranks about the attendees’ inability to prepare food. Little did I expect that a member of long standing, and generally not given to being ill-disciplined, would sink to a new level of incompetence: he forgot his food altogether.

The generous members of Quo Vadis stepped into the breach and offered their own food to a Comrade in order to prevent him from contracting anorexia.

This was but one of the numerous incidents which beset the hike to Barrett’s Coaches on the Kaapschehoop Trail in August 2018.

Main picture: Rob & Dean in front of one of the many huge rocks littering the area

Arnold’s Swansong

Arnold ended his illustrious career at Quo Vadis as Bullshitter in Chief – or BiC – on a sombre note. Without the background chatter from Comrade Peter extolling the virtues of some former pupil, now celebrity, Comrade Arnold, a citizen of Lithuania and recently discovered Jew after his NDE – Near Death Experience – Arnold demoted himself to that of driver.

After serving faithfully as BiC since this recruitment into QV in 2003, Comrade Arnold found a new wife 20 years his junior who drove him to complete the Comrades Marathon and the 94.7km Cycle Challenge. Now she embarked them both on a new phase in their relationship by emigrating to the sunny New Hampshire in the UK.

Hiking hut at Kaapsehoop

Well wishes are in order. Enjoy all your soggy braais.

Misty morning on the escarpment

Comrade “There’s no Rush” Asprey

For not taking my adage “There’s no Rush” literally, Nigel deserved to be pranked. Now Nigel will know why the words “There’s no tush” generates a rush for the exits. In addition, being a neophye hiker, Nigel was subject to Quo Vadis’ rite of passage rituals. Being pranked was one of them. With a deadline of 8am to commence Sunday’s hike, Comrade Nigel was spotted still farting around with his morning ablutions. This set in motion a devious plot.

Barrett’s Coaches

Even after being informed by fellow hikers the night before what to expect, Comrade Nigel still dilly-dallied. At ten minutes to the hour, all of the other members of Quo Vadis proceeded to commence the hike. Even Arnold, the designated driver, drove off. Outrage and blind panic emanated from Comrade Nigel’s compartment on the train. This Arnold gone, this meant that Nigel would be forced to carry all his baggage himself instead of letting Arnold take it in Clive’s car.

Mike Heidemann, Nigel Asprey, Rob Alexander, Clive Cameron and Generalisimo McCleland

It was only the kind-hearted Comrade Arnold that convinced the members to relent and return to the train.

Bootless Wonder

After extolling the virtues of Duct Tape to Comrade Rob and its multiplicity of applications in the hiking environment, who should be caught short without a handy roll of Duct Tape when the soles of his boots came adrift, was none than Quo Vadis’ exalted leader and General Pain the Butt or GPIB, Comrade Dean.

This is what Stephen Leatherbarrow required on the Fish River Canyon hike

 

Legend:

NDE = Near Death Experience

LBJs = Little Brown Jobs

TLA = Three Letter Acronym

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