Quiz for people who know everything

By Dean McCleland in Quizes 0 Comment

We all know somebody who knows everything. They are usually tiresome as they have the game of one-upmanship down to a fine art. Any conversation degenerates into a monologue as debate and discussion is impossible. Conceding a point is not part of their agenda. A variant of this personality type is the person who has contracted every time of disease and ailment known to mankind and survived them all.

Undoubtedly a close relation of ours who bores all and sundry with her latest ailment will be the first South African to contract MERS. Not surprisingly her Facebook account is littered with well-wishers consoling comments about her bad luck. Instead of applying the unwritten rule not to sympathise, their remarks pander to the person’s game.

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Eight Words with Two Gender Specific Meanings

By Dean McCleland in Jokes 0 Comment
  1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
    Female…… Any part under a car’s hood
    Male …..      The hook fastener on a woman’s bra strap

    2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
    Female …. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another
    Male …..    Playing cricket without a box

    3. COMMUNICATION (ko-moo-ni-kay-shon) n. 
    Female … The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner
    Male …      Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys

    4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. 
    Female ….. A desire to get married and raise a family
    Male ……   Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one

    5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
    Female …. A good movie, concert, play or book
    Male ……   Anything that can be done while drinking beer

    6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
    Female …. An embarrassing by-product of indigestion
    Male ……  A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding

    7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. 
    Female …… The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve
    Male ……     Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it

    8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
    Female ……A device for changing from one TV channel to another
    Male ……     A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes

Do They Really Think that we are that Stupid?

By Dean McCleland in Current Affairs 4 Comments

Of course they do. And we are. First we had President Zuma laughing his way through a Parliamentary session on the Budget. Then the Minister of Police had to the temerity to insult our intelligence by baldly stating that the most unlikely expenditure on Nkandla, Zuma’s private residence, were all installed for security purposes. Then FIFA bribe scandal broke. To cap it all, is the ongoing saga about Eskom.

After Nkandlagate the next episode of the soap opera that is South Africa under Zuma was released. Then came the FIFA imbroglio in which the American FBI allege that the South Africans paid a bribe to a FIFA executive amounting to $10 million. What has been the government’s reaction? Bluster, lies and cover-ups from the Minister of Sports, Fikile Mbalula. At the best of times, he first has to remove the one foot from his mouth before he can insert the other one. Upon closer inspection after every denial, investigative journalists would undercover another piece of the jigsaw puzzle which would undermine part of the denial. Like the seasoned politician that he is, he just dug himself a bigger hole through more bluster.

Main picture: Silo collapse at Majuba Power Station

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Signs that prove that South Africa is different

By Dean McCleland in Other Galleries, Other Opinion Pieces 0 Comment

The ubiquitous sign in bold lettering PENIS ENLARGEMENT is plastered on almost every stop sign, wall and bus shelter especially in the decrepit ramshackle areas. What image does this conjure up in the minds of foreigners about South African males? In less bold lettering beneath the prominent words will be a whole plethora of ailments and desires which this magic potion or muti, in the local Zulu parlance, can remedy.

The list will include items such as finding a job, retrieving a lover from the arms of another man to finding another wife. Of course the whities or mulungus sneer and roll their eyes at such quackery but in certain segments of black society, these concoctions clearly have credence and an allure otherwise these flyers would not be as prolific.

Main picture: Perhaps in the case the muti will be effective because all it is “designed” to do is to enlarge and not to find a girlfriend

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Only in Israel

By Dean McCleland in Other Galleries 0 Comment

After doing a number of blogs on Only in South Africa and one on Only in Australia, it must be time for another country. I have a whole bunch of new photographs on South Africa which epitomises the cultural divide in here which I might even use tomorrow night but first let us have something different.
Main picture: Your date brings het M-16 along with her

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The Lipid Hypothesis of Heart Disease under Attack in South Africa

By Dean McCleland in Current Affairs, Health 1 Comment

With the eminent Professor Tim Noakes facing the wrath of the Health Professions Council of South Africa (HPCSA) for advocating the LCHF diet for all people, this issue has again been dragged into the public domain. What particularly irked the Professional Board for Dietetics and Nutrition in South Africa was his assertion that his diet was suitable for infants. What is the significance of this decision and what are the long-term implications of general adoption of this diet?

A Personal Odyssey

Of the few struggles in my life which I have lost convincingly, by a knockout and not on points, has been my weight. At periodic intervals I would yet again attempt to lose 8 to 10kgs. After six months of excruciating hunger, lassitude and enervation, I would have attained my desired weight level only to regain it within one month thereafter as I resumed my normal eating habits.

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Are these really South Africa’s Top 10 Landmarks?

By Dean McCleland in History, Opinion Pieces 2 Comments

This is the list compiled by the Trip Advisor. It is always highly debatable what the top ten items are in any category; similarly with this list. Do you also have other landmarks in mind which are more significant like Kimberley or the Castle in Cape Town which should be on that list? Being totally unbiased I nominated Number 7 Castle Hill Port Elizabeth for the top position. The owner of the oldest extant house in Port Elizabeth and I have something in common. The Reverend Francis McCleland was my great great grandfather and the minister of the first church in Port Elizabeth.

According to the Heritage Collection:

No 7 Castle Hill was the residence of Rev. Francis McCleland and his family. He built his parsonage in 1825. The picturesque cottage is one of the oldest remaining dwelling houses in Port Elizabeth and is furnished as a family home of the mid-Victorian period, depicting the early Settler way of life. The house was declared a National Monument in 1962 and became a museum (No 7 Castle Hill Museum) in 1964.

Main picture: Number 7 Castle Hill in Port Elizabeth

 

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Rhodesia: The Great Betrayal

By Dean McCleland in Rhodesia / Zimbabwe 50 Comments

For just over three months I stayed at the Hilton Hotel while I worked in Pietermaritzburg recently. Staying there also was an ex-Rhodesian of roughly my age. This is his story in his words of his experiences and emotions during that war and its turbulent consequences.

First my experience when living in Rhodesia.

As portion of my articles for my CA were served with Price Waterhouse in Salisbury in 1977, I experienced the effects of the terrorist war first hand. I rapidly developed an affinity for the Rhodesian’s rugged demeanour in which the rigours of war were borne with equanimity. A second social phenomenon also struck me as an endearing attribute; a largely classless [white] society. Homogeneity and a common enemy would bind the white society inextricably together.

Main picture: The Rhodesian SAS
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To what lengths would you go to assist a pet?

By Dean McCleland in Other Personal 0 Comment

When the apple of my daughter’s eyes, her ginger tabby cat Tiddles contracted diabetes, she was forced to inject it twice a day for the rest of its life. For many, this would be considered an imposition and a burden not to be lumbered with. Others take that view to the other extreme.

My only personal experience of assisted a non-domestic pet relates to a fully-grown hadeda. While some people resent these birds, I find them rather quaint and quintessentially African. Even if one is not a fan of them one could not assist one in dire need.

That is what happened to me.

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Comrades: Is it a Rite of Passage for South Africans?

By Dean McCleland in Current Affairs 1 Comment

In no other country in the world, is an endurance athletic event the pinnacle of achievement for the average citizen. Over 90 kms of arduous hills, the Comrades winds its way between Durban & Pietermaritzburg in South Africa. How did this race become an institution and receive the acclaim that it does?

Having completed this race, the Ultimate Challenge as it is known, I have also been drawn by its allure and experienced the mind altering odyssey that is Comrades. Unlike other athletic events, this race attracts not only athletes but also the athletically challenged, as I am, to endure the mental and physical challenges of a race that is, upon sober reflection, beyond one’s physical capabilities.

Main picture: Wally Hayward at 80 years old completing the 1989 Comrades with Les Hackett just within the 11 hour cut-off.

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