Being a showman, Trump has many signature old man dance moves, playing air accordion when explaining something and strange facial expressions.  The most nauseating is his self-satisfied gloat, which, being Trump, he deploys many times.  But, no, this piece is not about him being smug.  It’s about him being a GLOAT.  Sports fans would immediately recognise what a GOAT is – Greatest Of All Time which is something Trump would sell his soul to be and mostly does.  Being Trump we have to add in a ‘L’ for the ell of it to describe his defining character flaw, namely lying, which includes exaggeration.  Hence he is a GLOAT – The Greatest Liar Of All Time.  

On the campaign trail he trundled out more lies than the Big Macs he scoffed. Overnight fact checking became a growth industry until many gave up, overwhelmed by the avalanche of porkies.  The classic was the emotive, “They (the illegal immigrants) are eating the cats.”  Then there was the price of eggs.  Yes, there was a general uptick in inflation but the much larger increase in egg prices was not due to Biden’s economic policies but was because of culling due to bird flu.  He also stated that he would be bringing the egg prices down by 98% on day one.  Really!  That would put the price of a single egg at around 2¢.  This was not the only day one boast.  There were many others including stopping the Ukraine war.

On assuming office, he went feral and declared economic war on the world, even his allies.  His primary attack was by means of tariffs.  This, he said, would be paid by the exporting country.  Either he is economically stupid or he was lying – take your pick.  He then exaggerated the trade deficits of some countries by a factor of up to two to justify his actions and then changed the number in different interviews.  In fact, he was just pulling numbers out of his thin hair to amplify his talking point.  In maths all numbers actually have real and imaginary components with the latter denoted by ‘i’, eg 3 +i4.  In Trump’s imaginary world, all his numbers, and everything else have to do with ’I’ and are real.

Trump lies about everything, including trivial things and even when he doesn’t have to.  Perhaps this was hardwired in him at birth or perhaps he is delusional or perhaps, because he always wants to be the centre of attention, he will make stuff up if not.  Perhaps he suffers from his brand of Trump Derangement Syndrome, namely ADD – (other people’s) Attention Deficit Disorder.

His father got a tame doctor to diagnose Trump’s bone spurs to avoid the draft.  Fast forward about 50 years:  To much derision during his first presidency, he got a doctor to report that he was an incredible physical specimen which the doctor later recanted. To avoid similar derision in his second term he got a military doctor to report in detail on a wide range of tests to prove that he was healthy except for one small nagging detail.  The doctor noted that he was 6’ 3” tall.  He might have been that when young but all recent photos show him to be just over 6’ which would be a standard consequence of aging.  He just couldn’t resist the lie could he.

Finally, according to Trump, he always wins at his golf tournaments.  This will either make him the biggest cheat or the greatest liar since Pinocchio.  He’s the Liar King and deserves to be called Donocchio, the GLOAT.

For those who did not have the benefit of a classical education, Samuel Coleridge wrote the lyric, The Rimes of the Ancient Mariner, in 1797-8.  It is about a sailing ship on a long sea voyage which finds itself in a terrible storm but gets to better weather by following an albatross.  For whatever reason, the mariner shoots the albatross which leads to bad luck for the ship.  The ship’s company are pissed off with him and hang the albatross around his neck.  He is the only eventual survivor of the series of calamities that befall the ship and its crew.  For SMAC’s take on the relevance of this to our world today, read on

In his second term, the oldest elected president has already issued a bewildering array of executive orders that are illegal, borderline illegal or controversial and has otherwise conducted himself in an unprecedented, unconstitutional and unbecoming manner.  He has taken aim at all the arms of the federal government system, and is tearing them up one by one, not because they are immoral, but because they stand in the way of his and his rich buddies’ feral brand of capitalism. 

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Trump’s disagreeable character traits run the full gamut and most pertain to his narcissism.  At the Pope’s funeral, attendees were requested to wear a black suit and tie.  Trump did not.  This is crass Trump behaviour all over again as he always tries to make the situation about himself, even during the most sensitive and solemn of times.

In the past week again we saw his crassness writ large.  With the whole Catholic world in mourning and about to enter the solemn phase of electing a new Pope, someone posted an AI image of Trump as a Pope on his Truth Social account.  This was then reposted by the White House across social media.  When asked about it, instead of distancing himself, he embraced it by saying, “I had nothing to do with it.  It was just, somebody did it in fun. It’s fine. Have to have a little fun don’t you?”  Inwardly he was rather chuffed.  After all, he had himself reimagined as various Marvel comic book heroes, but like them, the comparison was illusionary.  He is not religious, does not lead a pious life and is not selfless unless that act, and an act it is, actually advantages himself.

They say that dogs resemble their owners.  This is true for Trump’s cabinet where his undercooked stooges share many of his characteristics.  Even Melania once famously wore a jacket with the words “I don’t care” written across the back.  Talking of Melania, she has only spent 14 of Trump’s first 108 days at the White House.  Given Trump’s penchant for insulting people like when he accused some Republicans as being RINOs – Republicans In Name Only – Melania should be addressed as a WINO – Wife In Name Only.  Given the icy Slavic stares she gives Trump most of the time, he must be effectively celibate which I suppose is one requirement for being a Pope.

At the time of writing this, the new Pope was elected.  Having teased the dumb MAGA crowd with his Pope image earlier, their jubilation on hearing that the new Pope is American turned sour when it turned out not to be Trump.  What are they going to do – claim the election was rigged and storm the Vatican?

No sooner had His Excellency, The Most Righteous Donald Trump jnr been inaugurated into the No. 1 Office of the Presidency of the United States of MAGAland than he sicced his dutiful and obsequious minions on the US Federal and Justice systems and the world trading system. 

According to Ussher, God created Adam on the 28^th October 4004 BC just after lunch time.  He then created Eve and after a stern admonishment about extra-curricular activities, he left them to their own devices, not that they had any back then, while he went off to bed.  After an extremely busy previous 6 days, he had a well-deserved lie-in on the 7^th day. 

Fast forward 6019 years and one man had an inspiration in between inhaling Big Macs and draining diet Cokes.  That man was Donald Trump once referred to by a Republican lawmaker as the orange Jesus.  On the 14^th July 2015*, he created MAGA, a peculiar pigment of his imagination.  MAGA is a new world order populated by a throwback sub-species of man known as Homo Republicus Americanus.  Since America is a nation of immigrants, legal and illegal over the years, this species comprises many sub-sub-species, of which Homo Mid-Westernus Americanus is the most prominent.  They are mainly Caucasian and share many obnoxious characteristics.  They are predominantly red-blooded males who have a love/hate relationship with society:

• Love gladiatorial contests like cage fighting, WWE Raw and football.
• Love guns – the more the better – and sayings like “Love is a Warm Gun”.
• Love bad-ass pickup trucks – the bigger the better.
• Love conspiracy theories and watch Faux News.
• Love patriotic bumper stickers and flying the American and/or Confederate flags.
• Love all forms of Christianity even the fraudulent and flaky versions.
• Love the Bible but selective about living by its code.
• Love tough guy movies with big explosions, epic car chases/crashes and titanic fistfights.
• Hate LGBTQ+ people.
• Hate immigrants, particularly Mexicans and South Americans.
• Hate abortions but struggle to define when life begins.
• Hate all other religions (but cut the Jews a lot of slack).
• Hate ‘sensitive’ movies.

Generally they have stunted critical thinking processes and consider America to be the greatest thing since sliced bread (which they invented).  They think they were created to rule over earth particularly its shit hole countries and backward people.  Their wives range from being just as bigoted and hateful as their husbands to those who are totally subservient to them. 

And so a pall has been cast over America.

* Actually, that other American deity, Ronald Reagan, had first used a similar version during his 1980 Presidential campaign, “Let’s Make America Great Again”, but he didn’t trademark it as Trump did on this date.

Trump’s first month in office has been a whirlwind shitshow that has left countries and American citizens rattled and fearful.  But what is driving him?  SMAC has taken a deep dive into the belly of the beast to try to explain this unprecedented phenomenon that is akin to a massive asteroid hitting the Earth (but we didn’t see it because all NASA employees have been fired by Musk to improve efficiency).

Until he started running for the presidency against Hilary Clinton, what did we know about Donald Trump?  Nothing much really except for his successful reality show, The Apprentice.  Some who took a deeper interest knew that he wasn’t a particularly successful businessman.  In fact, he was disastrous.  He managed to bankrupt three hotels and three casinos.  You really have to work at bankrupting a cash machine like a casino.  He had six other ventures that platzed, the most prominent of which were the Trump Shuttle airline and the Trump University.  The latter also left all his graduates with expensive but worthless degrees. 

So how did he get to be president … twice?  His weapons of choice are mis-directions,  lies and exaggerations which he uses like a stripper uses silicone – nothing’s real and it’s just there to attract and distract you to part with your money – and in his latest venture, your votes.  Some of his lies are outrageous:  In 2015 his personal physician, Dr Borstein, released a letter saying that Trump had “extraordinary physical strength and stamina” and he would be “the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency”.  The superlatives and the style cast doubt on its authenticity which was confirmed by Borstein before his death in 2021 when he admitted that Trump dictated the letter.

Following the playbook of the Nazi Minister of Propaganda, Joseph Goebbels, where one repeats the lie until it becomes a fact, Trump used the far broader reach of social media where his supporters became unwitting propagandists by retweeting his talking points.  An analysis of just Trump’s Twitter feed from June 2015, when he declared his 2016 presidential run, until January 8 2021, when he was booted off, reveals the following: He insulted Hillary Clinton 646 times by calling her a criminal amongst other things with most over less than six months before the November 20 election.  That’s an average of 3 to 4 per day.  Over the full period of around 260 weeks, he denigrated the legacy media 1288 times and used the phrase “fake news” more than 500 times.  This was gaslighting at its worst.  Another feature was Trump’s vile and vindictive personal attacks on people he didn’t like.

His second presidency has displayed even more than before that he is a bully.  He has declared war on every country.  With his BFF, Elon, by his side the next phase of human history might become known as World War X.   But it doesn’t stop there.  He has also declared war on everyone (federal workers, LGBTQIA+ people, migrants, Democrats, and anyone who did him a perceived injustice including prosecutors and the FBI) and everything (wind turbines, plastic straws, low flow shower heads).  The last two show how single-mindedly petty he is all because he has a personal gripe.  He does this because he can – firstly, because the USA is by far the most powerful country financially and militarily and whose dollar is effectively the reserve currency of the world and secondly because his toadies in the majority in both the Senate and the House as well as the Supreme Court have got his back not to mention His Master’s Voice, Fox News.  In his first term he tested the limits of what he could get away with and then came four years in the wilderness during which he marinaded in his grievances and victimhood during his court cases.  This has empowered and emboldened him to be off-the-charts outrageous.

His character is a complex assembly of asinine ideas, half-baked conspiracy theories, festering vindictiveness and many other distasteful traits in his amoral bubbling personal cauldron but the most important idee fixe is the word me.  He has no alter ego just ego.

In the first weeks of his presidency Trump has been issuing executive orders at a faster rate than he lies and insults people.  Then again, most of his orders are actually vindicative insults in themselves and not only affect one person but millions worldwide.  Many are ultra vires but he doesn’t care.  SMAC has delved into this and come up with his own insult (not that he cares just like Melania who wore a jacket with that slogan during his last presidency).

Trump loves to insult people.  It somehow fuels his outsize ego as much as McDonald burgers with a side order of Diet Coke – hold the paper straws – sustains his outsize body.  In fact, he is an equal opportunity serial insulter who will even insult allies if they do not please him sufficiently.  One of his least vile insults was reserved for Republicans who were not fully onboard with his ‘T’ party, the MAGAhatters, was to call them RINOs – Republicans In Name Only. 

Well, he should be called a PINO – President In Name Only – particularly during his first term when he actually lost the popular vote by a significant amount.  Although he now managed to win the popular vote, largely due to Democratic Party ineptness rather than his own brilliance, he is still a PINO as there is nothing presidential about this gloating bully boy with his minions.  In fact, his second term could be referred to as Despicable Me 2.  But perhaps that’s not a good comparison as Gru turned out to be not so gruesome but a rather schmaltzy character, and his minions just a noisy, chucking rabble who are naughty rather than bad.

So, time to retire my PINO moniker and to introduce a new one – DINO – Democracy In Name Only.  It’s appropriate for him that the word, DEMOCRACY, has the vocalisation of MOCK embedded in it as this describes one of the greatest weapons in this bully boy’s thin-skinned armoury.  It’s his go-to attack weapon when defending one of his ill-conceived ideas (like Eric and Don jr – meow), or lies, or exaggerations, or etc.  His first presidency was a trial run for him, like a baby learning to walk.  This time around he’s locked and loaded and is not taking prisoners.  He had the support of millions of minions during his four years in the wilderness while he marinaded in his grievances.  They drew up a long list of actions that he could take legally, borderline legally and illegally to get into the Democrat’s and the Washington establishment’s faces.  Groups like Project 2025 created the poisonous cocktail with a 900 odd page how-to manual and Il Douche has added his sour twist of lemon in the form of petty and vengeful executive orders like renaming the Gulf of Mexico or withdrawing the security details of former top aides who didn’t totally bend to his will first time around.

He has surrounded himself with unqualified and unsuitable toadies and given free rein to a prat manchild to destroy the Federal system which he sees as responsible, not only for America’s ills, but his own legal misfortunes.

Giving him the full name of DINOsaurus Rex who would be king suits him insofar as much was made of his small hands during his 2016 presidential campaign and, although fearsome at the present, he will soon become just a footprint in history.

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Thanksgiving Day is the day that America gives thanks to their God, Mammon, for the bounty they have received.  And for this year, their god has dished up a massive bounty for the majority of Americans.  We are talking about the people of God’s Own Party, the Republicans.  They have been delivered control of the House, the Senate and the Supreme Court, all guided and ruled over by their Ayatollah, the Supreme Turkey embodied on earth by Trump.  The Turkeys are running Thanksgiving and, for at least the next four years, will be running the farm and going feral.

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