A SMAC in the Face #4: Twilight of the Dogs

The ANC held a gala dinner in Polokwane on the 7th January in the runup to their annual mastubarory celebrations of their founding. With tables being sold for up to R1.2 million to pay outstanding salaries, Squirrel Ramaphosa, no great orator, was about to bore the audience with his keynote address when the power failed.  This made lots of people happy.  The RET faction quietly cheered along with the doomsayers outside of the ANC tent.  The group that smiled the most were those there that could get on with their drinking and not having to be bored by Squirrel’s laborious speech as is his style.

For once, that poster child of ANC incompetence – Eskom – wasn’t to blame, but sabotage which made the reference to Götterdämmerung particualy apt.

A SMAC in the Face #3: Game, Set and Match

After weeks of speculation as to whether he would play in the 2022 Australian Open given his refusal to get vaccinated, Novac Djokovic landed in Australia on the 5th of January.  He was immediately detained for hours before authorities took him to a government detention hotel for failure to comply with Australian entry regulations with respect to Covid.

A SMAC in the Face #2: The Hope for 2022

The good news is that 2022 seems to be the year that we finally get Covid under control and learn to live with what we can’t control.  Although SA’s vaccination rates have been low – only 28% fully vaccinated and 0.8% boosted – we are probably approaching herd immunity.  The SA Medical Research Council estimates Covid deaths at nearly 300,000 or more than 3x the official death figures which implies that most people have already been infected.  This is borne out by random sampling for antibodies and that our recent fourth wave which hardly caused a ripple.

The Brazilian Variant

South Africa always seems to hit the worldwide headlines for all the wrong reasons.  Normally, the reasons are self-inflicted but South Africa has again become a household name when a South African Variant of the SARS-CoV-2 was discovered and found to be more infectious, if not more lethal.  Luckily, we’ve been upstaged by a new variant, known as the Brazilian Variant, that popped up in Manaus and overwhelmed their medical system within 24 hours.

The Needle and the Damage Done*

Moegeng Moegeng’s day job is to be the Chief Justice but his real passion seems  to be a ranting televangelist in the style of Pastor Mboro et al.  Rounding off a thanksgiving address with a prayer at Tembisa Hospital in December last year, he stomped around behind the podium railing against suspect vaccines: “I lock out any vaccine that is not of you. If there be any vaccine that is of the devil, meant to infuse 666 in the lives of people, meant to corrupt their DNA … Any such vaccine, Lord God almighty, may it be destroyed by fire, in the name of Jesus.”


While he might not have directly accused anyone of producing a vaccine that would corrupt DNA, the unsophisticated listener might have made the connection that they do exist otherwise why would a venerated person get so worked up about it.  With a worldwide rollout of vaccines gaining momentum, it’s worthwhile revisiting that topic.
* Song by Neil Young released in 1972

A Notice From The Queen to the Citizens of The USA

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)


Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Theresa May will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

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My Travel Plans for Next Year

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Kahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.

I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older.

One of my favourite places to be is in Suspense ! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age, I need all the stimuli I can get !

I may have been in Continent, but I don’t remember what country that was in. It’s an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

 

Eight Words with Two Gender Specific Meanings

  1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
    Female…… Any part under a car’s hood
    Male …..      The hook fastener on a woman’s bra strap

    2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.

    Female …. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another
    Male …..    Playing cricket without a box

    3. COMMUNICATION (ko-moo-ni-kay-shon) n. 
    Female … The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner
    Male …      Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys

    4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. 

    Female ….. A desire to get married and raise a family
    Male ……   Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one

    5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.

    Female …. A good movie, concert, play or book
    Male ……   Anything that can be done while drinking beer

    6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.

    Female …. An embarrassing by-product of indigestion
    Male ……  A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding

    7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. 

    Female …… The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve
    Male ……     Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it

    8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.

    Female ……A device for changing from one TV channel to another
    Male ……     A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes